Hello!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by hopefloats, Sep 24, 2007.

  1. hopefloats

    hopefloats New Member

    Just wanted to say Hi! Have a four year old son that was diagnosis with a behavioral disorder a few weeks ago and doctor is going to send him to a psychotherapist. So I'm just starting out. From what I've read up on, I think he is ODD. He has a lot of aggression and argues with us about every little thing. He was a very happy normal baby until about 2 years ago. My little John is a very insecure, unhappy, and angry little boy. I just hope we can help him. Thank God we found this sight. I was trying to blame myself because most of the web sites I've read talks about bad parenting skills. I'm an Early Childhood Educator. I have degrees in ECD and have even taught in school. I thought I was doing everything right with my kids but things just seemed to get worse with him. Now I know that it can be his body chemistry and make up. Whew!! Again just wanted to say Hi and thanks for this sight!!
     
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome.
    Since every child here probably has ODD symptoms, it is probably wise to have a total assessment done on him. ODD rarely stands alone. It's always a bad idea to try to diagnose your own child.
    Did he have an speech delays, peer issues, lack of interest in toys, motor problems?
    Does mood disorders or substance abuse exist on either side of the family tree?
     
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Hi Lorrie & welcome.
    You'll get a ton of support here. My big question for you is what sorts of behaviors are you seeing that make you think your son may have ODD? Can you give some examples?
     
  4. hopefloats

    hopefloats New Member

    Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)

    Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) consists of a pattern of negativistic, hostile, and defiant behaviour lasting at least 6 months, during which four (or more) of the following behaviours are present:

    * often loses temper
    *often argues with adults
    *often actively defies or refuses to comply with adults' requests or rules
    *often deliberately annoys people
    *often blames others for his or her mistakes or misbehaviour
    is often touchy or easily annoyed by others
    *is often angry and resentful
    *is often spiteful or vindictive

    Each of the above is only considered diagnostic if the behaviour occurs more frequently than is typically observed in children of comparable age and developmental level and if the behaviour causes clinically significant impairment in social, academic, or occupational functioning.

    Oppositional Defiant disorder is not diagnosed if the behaviours occur exclusively during the course of a Psychotic or Mood Disorder or if Conduct Disorder is diagnosed.

    I found this web site and he has every single symptom. We haven't seem any motor problems or mental just emotional things. Anger is the biggest. He is not very social with other kids and when he tries is often mean to them. I have explained manners and how to treat people, animals, and friends but it just goes in one ear and out the other. He was a very happy normal baby until about 2 years ago. My little John is a very insecure, unhappy, and angry little boy. He just started emotionally withdrawing a little at a time. He would have terrible, violent tantrums if he didn't get his way. Was mean to others. Just got worse when little sister was born. No matter what we tried he just seemed to get more angry at the world. He started 4K a few weeks ago and was in trouble for hitting the first day. By the third day he was sent to the principals office for hitting three different times in one day. THere have been tons of other things that have happened. Have a huge family of mental illnesses (Bipolar, extreme depression ect..) on mothers side and substance abuse on fathers side.
     
  5. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi Lorrie! I agree with the others. ODD rarely stands alone. My oldest son presented with ADHD and ODD, then it turned out they were actually a fall out of Aspergers Syndrome. Others have been dealing with other stuff that also presents that way.

    You'll get a lot farther in your research once you've gotten a clinical diagnosis. It'll help you tackle some of the stuff that he's doing, see how his mind works and processes things, etc. Be super careful not to get yourself "stuck" on a diagnosis before he's evaluated.

    Welcome to the club!

    Beth
     
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Even if he has ODD, it rarely stands alone and it is very unlikely that it is the only problem. I think every child here has ODD symptoms, but they are just part of the bigger picture.
     
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Hello Lorrie!

    I am going to give you advice you may not like. Just an issue to be aware of.

    My son was EXTRMELY VIOLENT to his little sister. To the point where we coudl not go to the bathroom without taking one of htem with us to keep him from hurting (bruising or hitting hard enough to draw blood) her. This started when his sister started to walk. It was a long hard road getting any help at all because no one wants to believe kids can be this violent.

    Watch your children very closely. Be sure he is not hurting her. She has the right to grow up without being abused, jsut as he does.

    He is NOT "BAD", he has problems that require treatment. One part of the treatment is to keep him from hurting his sister.

    My son is now 15 and living wiht family. We are a family of different addresses. It is working. He feels absolutely horrible about what he did to his sister and I. Part of hte reason he had to not live with us is that I did not want him to grow up wiht the guilt of permanently damaging one of us (ie: killing me or my daughter - it was getting that bad)

    Your son is not wanting to be angry and hurting others. He truly does not know how to deal with what his body and brain are doing. Early intervention and following your mommy instinct are what will save your entire family.

    Hugs,

    Susie
     
  8. Sunshine1966

    Sunshine1966 New Member

    Welcome to the site Lorrie!

    I know it is so hard to watch your child be insecure, unhappy and angry. For the longest time I thought there was just something about me that was the reason that mostly I was having all these troubles with my difficult child. It helped to finally get a professional to explain that he had some imbalances and that there are things we can do to help. It wasn't my fault! It wasn't because I was doing something wrong or being a bad parent. It breaks my heart to see my son struggle so much with his emotions getting angry and irritated over everything. I was opening a can of tuna in the kitchen while he was watching TV and he yelled at me because I was making too much noise! Somedays I just can't do anything right according to his high expectations of how things should be. But, I went through a really low emotional week a month or so ago and really cried out to God for help. I asked Him to give me a special love for my son. Not just a love you all the time, but a love that would somehow miraculous love him through all these horrible moments and see through them to the wonderful child he is and will become as he grows up.

    Take care!

    Debbie
     
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