Help 5 year old starting Kindergarten!!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by 4myson02, Aug 13, 2007.

  1. 4myson02

    4myson02 New Member

    Hi I'm new to the group. My son is starting Kindergarten next week and I'm terrified. I'm a single mom that works fulltime. He has been kicked out of over 5 daycares. I did have him in a home daycare until this past June and decided to move him into the school that would be picking him up after Kindergarten to get him use to it. It wasn't long before the calls started asking me to come and pick my child up. Here are some of the things going on with him...
    Hates to be told what to do by anyone.
    Always has to be in charge and the leader.
    Is negative alot of the time
    Throws tantrums and has to be physically picked up and removed from class or area
    The tantrums continue for an hour or more or until he passes out.
    He is constantly touching, pushing, hitting, biting other children.
    The children are afraid to be around him. They usually can start to play nice but by the end he is so bossy they leave.

    I have bc/bs insurance but my deductible has to be met before they pay the little amount they will pay. I see his pediatrician doctor Wed. and two weeks ago his psychiatric/doctor put him on adderal 5mg. I'm just at a loss. Once school does start I will be taking him and picking him up right after. What will happen if this cotinues in the classroom.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Has he ever been evaluated? Do you have any substance abuse, mood problems, or neurological problems on either side of the family tree? The key to successful school is knowing what's wrong and what type of classroom he can succeed in. Adderall can make kids worse, especially if they don't have ADHD. I'd take him for a multi-disciplanry evaluation or have him see a neuropsychologist. Lots of things could be going on, and I'd want to know what they are. If this continues in the classroom, it depends on the school. He may be seen as "bad." I don't think he is. He may be evaluated by the school district (I don't trust their evaluations and would want a private one). You may end up getting lots of "pick him up" calls until he is getting the right treatment! Did he have any speech delays? Does he sleep well? Can he make transitions without raging? Is he good socially?
  3. 4myson02

    4myson02 New Member

    Hi and thanks for replying so quickly. To answer the your questions:
    There is substance abuse on both sides of the family, also bi-polar on both sides. I did about a year and a half ago take him to our county ESC program for an evaluation and at the end they told me they didn't see anything wrong. I pleaded with the lady and told her about all the daycares and tantrums, hitting, biting. She asked me to collect letters from all daycares and fax them to her. They ended up getting him into the program but it was only for a few hours during the day and like I said I'm a single parent and I just couldn't do it.
    He didn't have any speech delays infact he started speaking very early. He sleeps good. He does not make transitions without raging. I find that if I use a timer at home for play time , tv, bedtime, it helps a little. If you say no to him it's the end of the world. Please believe me when I say I do not give into him. He will scream for an hour or more. Since he has been let go from his daycare my parents have been working shifts to take care of him until school starts.
    He plays well with the other kids until he starts to be to much of a boss. He will even have the older kids doing what he says. So do I see his pediatrician. first? It's so hard when they don't see the tantrums, hitting, and biting.
  4. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Welcome. Based solely on your responses to MWM, I have to say you need to get him evaluated by a child psychiatrist. It's seems very likely to me (an untrained parent) that he may be suffering from a mood disorder or specifically early onset bipolar. Now, I'm not a doctor, but that's my perception. The good news is that there are treatments if he's accurately diagnosed. That's the trick, because some psychiatrists don't diagnose at this age because it can be difficult.
  5. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome! Not only should your son be evaluated by a neuropsychologist, but also you should request the in school evaluations now, before it ever starts. This way he will be evaluated within the first month or so. This will protect him somewhat at school. Limit the number of suspensions, etc. Check out the Special Education 101 forum here on the site.
  6. Liahona

    Liahona Active Member

    The Special Education 101 forum is wonderful here. They can help you navigate the school system so you aren't picking him up every day and losing your job. Do send the letter to get him tested by the school district before school starts. Even if it doesn't help with the diagnosis it'll help the school to putting him on a behavior plan instead of labeling him a bad kid and calling you every few min. At least it should help them form a behavior plan.
  7. 4myson02

    4myson02 New Member

    Thanks for all the replys. So do I just call the school even if I don't know exactly what is wrong with him yet?
  8. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Yup. This way you will be proactive and they'll know that you are: 1. aware of your rights for you and your son
    2. willing to work with them
    3. consider education to be integral

    The Special Education forum has really great info. regarding IEP's and requests for meetings on IEP's.

    Good luck!
  9. SRL

    SRL Active Member


    I agree with the others that both a school evaluation and a private evaluation is in order. I know private evaluations are expensive but trust me, it's much cheaper to get early treatment when the children are more receptive and tend to progress better than if it's left until later.

    It's in the best interest of your child as well as his classmates if you let them know ahead of time that your son hasn't been successful in group settings. I would write the letter requesting the evaluation but this close to the start of school I'd also schedule an appointment with the teacher and principal.