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Help / Advice Needed for Upcoming Meeting...
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 402027" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>The outline for the Parent Report is in the link in my sig. I got tired of having to go find it in the archives. It is FAR more useful than the pile of paperwork you have, though you need that paperwork to make the report. Read the explanation and outline. The picture is an excellent thing. I went further because I know the docs we worked with didn't read all of it. Or if they did they had so many distractions they forgot which kid was which partway through. I copied a picture of Wiz onto the front, and onto the first page of each section (smaller picture on the first of each section). That way they not only saw his name, they saw the FACE. If you have any video of her rages, pics of damage she has done to the house, etc... put it on a disc. Print the pics and copy them into the report. MANY of us have found that NO ONE believes the rages are what we say until they see them in person or on video. It is one reason that nannycams and surveillance are so helpful if you can afford them.</p><p></p><p>If you can, use those reports to make a timeline. sort of like in history classes, that arrow divided into years with points marked where things happened. It can be very illuminating to show either how things are just staying the same or how they are getting so much worse, depending on what is happening. OR getting better if that is happening (not in difficult child world very often, sadly).</p><p></p><p>When you go in have your list of dream supports. If you had this difficult child and all the $$ and cooperation in the world, what would you want? Include RESPITE, crisis services so that you can call when she goes off at home, someone to shadow her 8+ hrs a day INCLUDING TIME AT HOME - NOT NOT NOT just at school.</p><p></p><p>You need something to work on her bizarre thinking. I don't know if it is grandiose or delusional or magical or what, just that she often seems to have no concept of reality based on waht you describe. Go back through your posts and note what you have written. Include the internet stuff and her high risk of becoming a victim of sexual violence.</p><p></p><p>The anti drug/teen sex programs are good to add in though they will have to be extreme to make any difference to her. in my opinion the shadow needs to have the job of keeping her from making plans to meet boys for sex, esp if they are not boys like her last internet plans. Her safety MUST be included in this person's job.</p><p></p><p>A metnor is NOT going to work. If it is a guy then it will be someone she tries to hook up with or he will have friends/kids/etc... that she will set her eyes on. If it is female she will either use her as an excuse to get out of the house or to meet males. she is really good at manipulating poeple at first, so this needs to be a thought.</p><p></p><p>She also needs someone to work with her on personal hygeine and appropriate behavior. Chances are it is part of self esteem issues and DBT may help, so go for that help (therapy). </p><p></p><p>Does she have any learning disabilities and are there any assistive technologies that would help? Toss those in (like the Alphasmart NEO2, a word processing tool for kids/schools. Very durable, one piece, no internet access so she can type assignments and NOT go online. </p><p></p><p>As she will be 16 in less than a year, you are going to need to start thinking about transitional services. Those will help with whatever she will need to function as an "adult" after age 18. I am not terribly familiar with what is involved, but others here should be able to hel with that. Not sure you need this NOW, but you need to start thinking about what is going to be needed to help her become an adult (will she be able to stay at home after age 18? What will the rules be? Rent? Job? School? etc...). </p><p></p><p>Given the desire to get into trouble with drugs and sex, you may want to ask for as much intensive help as possible. The more you push for the more they will start to think Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is more able to provide what she needs. Looks at how her choices and behaviors impact your son. Is she a danger to him? You have been afraid that she is trying to find someone to come and kill you or help her kill you. Do NOT leave that out or forget to push this fear into the mix. THis means she is a danger to her brother as well as to you and husband. A lot of focus needs to be placed on how to keep him safe from her, esp after school while you are at work. This total service person NEEDS to think about this too, as do the tdocs and psychiatrists - though my experience is that MANY people don't want to think about i t and won't unless you force it into their laps. We even had a JUDGE who didn't want to hear about how Wiz hurt his sibs until I got insistent. I thought I was going to get a contempt of court fine at one point but the CPS people stood up and said if I wasn't insistent then they couldn't leave the sibs with us because he was too dangerous. Of course THEY (cps) didn't want to DO anything, but they did say that to get the judge to listen.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, work on the parent report and timeline. As you go through all that stuff, think about what would help. Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) (Independent living skils) therapy? In home therapy? Shadow to keep her safe because she is determined to be unsafe? Training/supervision of personal hygeine? Anti drugs/sex/gangs programs? (Not sure if she is aware of/interested in gangs, but they often attract kids who want to use drugs and have sex, so it is something to think about) DBT therapy? Respite for the rest of the family? Programs to help your son deal with the stress of living with difficult child?</p><p></p><p>When yo go into the meeting, have the parent report, your bullet lists, and a summary of the parent report (think of it like an executive summary written for a boss), the timeline, etc... </p><p></p><p>Timerlady might be a good person to ask about what all can be offered as her kids have had a LOT. Just as a thought, if Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is not available, would a therapeutic foster family be helpful if they were truly therapeutic and she was the only one or was in a house with up to 2 other girls like her? I don't know if it is a good idea or not as it would depend on the training of the family - I have heard some are not trained at all and some are trained very very little. </p><p></p><p>I hope this helps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 402027, member: 1233"] The outline for the Parent Report is in the link in my sig. I got tired of having to go find it in the archives. It is FAR more useful than the pile of paperwork you have, though you need that paperwork to make the report. Read the explanation and outline. The picture is an excellent thing. I went further because I know the docs we worked with didn't read all of it. Or if they did they had so many distractions they forgot which kid was which partway through. I copied a picture of Wiz onto the front, and onto the first page of each section (smaller picture on the first of each section). That way they not only saw his name, they saw the FACE. If you have any video of her rages, pics of damage she has done to the house, etc... put it on a disc. Print the pics and copy them into the report. MANY of us have found that NO ONE believes the rages are what we say until they see them in person or on video. It is one reason that nannycams and surveillance are so helpful if you can afford them. If you can, use those reports to make a timeline. sort of like in history classes, that arrow divided into years with points marked where things happened. It can be very illuminating to show either how things are just staying the same or how they are getting so much worse, depending on what is happening. OR getting better if that is happening (not in difficult child world very often, sadly). When you go in have your list of dream supports. If you had this difficult child and all the $$ and cooperation in the world, what would you want? Include RESPITE, crisis services so that you can call when she goes off at home, someone to shadow her 8+ hrs a day INCLUDING TIME AT HOME - NOT NOT NOT just at school. You need something to work on her bizarre thinking. I don't know if it is grandiose or delusional or magical or what, just that she often seems to have no concept of reality based on waht you describe. Go back through your posts and note what you have written. Include the internet stuff and her high risk of becoming a victim of sexual violence. The anti drug/teen sex programs are good to add in though they will have to be extreme to make any difference to her. in my opinion the shadow needs to have the job of keeping her from making plans to meet boys for sex, esp if they are not boys like her last internet plans. Her safety MUST be included in this person's job. A metnor is NOT going to work. If it is a guy then it will be someone she tries to hook up with or he will have friends/kids/etc... that she will set her eyes on. If it is female she will either use her as an excuse to get out of the house or to meet males. she is really good at manipulating poeple at first, so this needs to be a thought. She also needs someone to work with her on personal hygeine and appropriate behavior. Chances are it is part of self esteem issues and DBT may help, so go for that help (therapy). Does she have any learning disabilities and are there any assistive technologies that would help? Toss those in (like the Alphasmart NEO2, a word processing tool for kids/schools. Very durable, one piece, no internet access so she can type assignments and NOT go online. As she will be 16 in less than a year, you are going to need to start thinking about transitional services. Those will help with whatever she will need to function as an "adult" after age 18. I am not terribly familiar with what is involved, but others here should be able to hel with that. Not sure you need this NOW, but you need to start thinking about what is going to be needed to help her become an adult (will she be able to stay at home after age 18? What will the rules be? Rent? Job? School? etc...). Given the desire to get into trouble with drugs and sex, you may want to ask for as much intensive help as possible. The more you push for the more they will start to think Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is more able to provide what she needs. Looks at how her choices and behaviors impact your son. Is she a danger to him? You have been afraid that she is trying to find someone to come and kill you or help her kill you. Do NOT leave that out or forget to push this fear into the mix. THis means she is a danger to her brother as well as to you and husband. A lot of focus needs to be placed on how to keep him safe from her, esp after school while you are at work. This total service person NEEDS to think about this too, as do the tdocs and psychiatrists - though my experience is that MANY people don't want to think about i t and won't unless you force it into their laps. We even had a JUDGE who didn't want to hear about how Wiz hurt his sibs until I got insistent. I thought I was going to get a contempt of court fine at one point but the CPS people stood up and said if I wasn't insistent then they couldn't leave the sibs with us because he was too dangerous. Of course THEY (cps) didn't want to DO anything, but they did say that to get the judge to listen. Anyway, work on the parent report and timeline. As you go through all that stuff, think about what would help. Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) (Independent living skils) therapy? In home therapy? Shadow to keep her safe because she is determined to be unsafe? Training/supervision of personal hygeine? Anti drugs/sex/gangs programs? (Not sure if she is aware of/interested in gangs, but they often attract kids who want to use drugs and have sex, so it is something to think about) DBT therapy? Respite for the rest of the family? Programs to help your son deal with the stress of living with difficult child? When yo go into the meeting, have the parent report, your bullet lists, and a summary of the parent report (think of it like an executive summary written for a boss), the timeline, etc... Timerlady might be a good person to ask about what all can be offered as her kids have had a LOT. Just as a thought, if Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is not available, would a therapeutic foster family be helpful if they were truly therapeutic and she was the only one or was in a house with up to 2 other girls like her? I don't know if it is a good idea or not as it would depend on the training of the family - I have heard some are not trained at all and some are trained very very little. I hope this helps. [/QUOTE]
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