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Parent Emeritus
Help and Kindness needed please, I'm broken and new to this site
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 703650" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Ah, such a familiar and sad tale. I'm sorry that your son has had so much trouble, and caused so much pain to your otherwise happy family. You've had a lot on your plate, losing the kids' dad so young. Your son, though, is not on your plate...he is on his own, by virtue of the choices he has made. My son, too has been homeless, as have many of the kids on the board. My son's homelessness started when he was 17, and moved away to live with one of the Occupy movements. We were all astounded that he survived...and he has survived, by couch surfing, moving around, living on the streets and in cars, sleeping on floors in shared apartments, and, for a long time, living under a bridge. He has survived and sometimes even been quite happy. He has begged and gone to soup kitchens. H e has stolen. And he has survived, which shows his resilience and creativity. Your son will survive too. They all do.</p><p></p><p>Your efforts on his behalf have been unstinting. You can rest on that now. You did all you possibly could to keep him on the right path, to help him, to rescue him. One of the most useful posts I ever read on this board, and I paraphrase now because I don't remember exactly, was</p><p></p><p>"if all your love and effort could save him he would have been saved many times over by now."</p><p></p><p>That struck me really clearly and really hard. The "saving" is not in your control. It is not in the control of any of us bystanders. If you could have saved him, could still save him, he would be saved. He has to follow his own journey. It is time for you to step aside, tend to yourself and your husband and sweet daughter. Let him find his own way. </p><p></p><p>Tanya gave you really good advice. Read it a few times. Read the post on detachment at the top of this forum. Read our posts, and post often yourself. It is time to tend to yourself. That is the only way now. It is the only part you can control. </p><p></p><p>We get it. We are here with you. </p><p></p><p>Greetings and hugs. I'll hold you in my heart today. </p><p></p><p>Echolette, mother of D.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 703650, member: 17269"] Ah, such a familiar and sad tale. I'm sorry that your son has had so much trouble, and caused so much pain to your otherwise happy family. You've had a lot on your plate, losing the kids' dad so young. Your son, though, is not on your plate...he is on his own, by virtue of the choices he has made. My son, too has been homeless, as have many of the kids on the board. My son's homelessness started when he was 17, and moved away to live with one of the Occupy movements. We were all astounded that he survived...and he has survived, by couch surfing, moving around, living on the streets and in cars, sleeping on floors in shared apartments, and, for a long time, living under a bridge. He has survived and sometimes even been quite happy. He has begged and gone to soup kitchens. H e has stolen. And he has survived, which shows his resilience and creativity. Your son will survive too. They all do. Your efforts on his behalf have been unstinting. You can rest on that now. You did all you possibly could to keep him on the right path, to help him, to rescue him. One of the most useful posts I ever read on this board, and I paraphrase now because I don't remember exactly, was "if all your love and effort could save him he would have been saved many times over by now." That struck me really clearly and really hard. The "saving" is not in your control. It is not in the control of any of us bystanders. If you could have saved him, could still save him, he would be saved. He has to follow his own journey. It is time for you to step aside, tend to yourself and your husband and sweet daughter. Let him find his own way. Tanya gave you really good advice. Read it a few times. Read the post on detachment at the top of this forum. Read our posts, and post often yourself. It is time to tend to yourself. That is the only way now. It is the only part you can control. We get it. We are here with you. Greetings and hugs. I'll hold you in my heart today. Echolette, mother of D. [/QUOTE]
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Help and Kindness needed please, I'm broken and new to this site
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