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HELP! Daughter Needs Friends at School!
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 79594" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Sadly, girls are that cruel at 8. Cliques are formed and change weekly. So, she may be friendless this week and totally in next week. However, if she's throwing things and hitting in school, she's always going to be on the outside. By second grade, it frightens kids. They've learned violence is unacceptable and don't know what to do when one of their peers is violent. By third grade, a violent child is going to be totally ostracized.</p><p></p><p>I used to volunteer at a local school. For two years, I helped in a third grade class. In one, there was a little girl who truly marched to her own drummer. She did not play with the other kids at recess and, if they could avoid it, they did not have her in class groups. Fortunately, she understood she was different and was at least semi-content to hang with the teachers and staff at recesses and lunch. If she really wanted to play with the other kids, she just kind of pushed her way in and they kind of accepted her for that period of time.</p><p></p><p>If her school has a social group, try to get her into it. It might help her learn better social interactions. You might talk to the teacher to see if there's some kind of buddy system.</p><p></p><p>Some things that might at least get your daughter to feel she is playing with the other kids is things like tetherball. Anything where the kids have to stand in line and take turns playing at recess. While it won't quite make up for not being able to play the other games, it at least will get her being with the other children. </p><p></p><p>I'm sorry this is happening. I do understand your pain since my daughter was one of those who didn't have friends. She was so desperate she would bring toys to school and give them to someone so they would play with her at recess. It broke my heart but the reality is there truly wasn't anything I could do to make the kids play with her at school even though we had many playdates at my home. I think this is one of the more heartbreaking things we see and go through being parents of a child with special needs. :sad:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 79594, member: 3626"] Sadly, girls are that cruel at 8. Cliques are formed and change weekly. So, she may be friendless this week and totally in next week. However, if she's throwing things and hitting in school, she's always going to be on the outside. By second grade, it frightens kids. They've learned violence is unacceptable and don't know what to do when one of their peers is violent. By third grade, a violent child is going to be totally ostracized. I used to volunteer at a local school. For two years, I helped in a third grade class. In one, there was a little girl who truly marched to her own drummer. She did not play with the other kids at recess and, if they could avoid it, they did not have her in class groups. Fortunately, she understood she was different and was at least semi-content to hang with the teachers and staff at recesses and lunch. If she really wanted to play with the other kids, she just kind of pushed her way in and they kind of accepted her for that period of time. If her school has a social group, try to get her into it. It might help her learn better social interactions. You might talk to the teacher to see if there's some kind of buddy system. Some things that might at least get your daughter to feel she is playing with the other kids is things like tetherball. Anything where the kids have to stand in line and take turns playing at recess. While it won't quite make up for not being able to play the other games, it at least will get her being with the other children. I'm sorry this is happening. I do understand your pain since my daughter was one of those who didn't have friends. She was so desperate she would bring toys to school and give them to someone so they would play with her at recess. It broke my heart but the reality is there truly wasn't anything I could do to make the kids play with her at school even though we had many playdates at my home. I think this is one of the more heartbreaking things we see and go through being parents of a child with special needs. [img]:sad:[/img] [/QUOTE]
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