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Help don't know what I'm doing with my 'adult' child!
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 414435" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Well, since he wants to be like other kids and not work..........why can't he just ride the bus to school or walk like other kids who don't work? It won't hurt him to do these things. My kids walked 2 miles one way to the high school everyday in all weather. (we were right inside the bus line at the time so bus wouldn't pick them up) </p><p></p><p>Bottom line, he's 19 and you can't force him to do a darn thing. The only thing you can do is decide what behavior you will/won't put up with in your home and follow through with it. You don't have control over him, but you do have control over your home and what happens there.</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately your son has zero motivation. As long as life is all cushy, that isn't going to change because he sees no reason for it to change. </p><p></p><p>I totally agree with Wtz, if you don't follow through with this threat, there will be no believing you about anything else. </p><p></p><p>It would be a good idea to sit down and really think about what you would expect of an adult (any adult) living in your home. Then once you've done that, look it over and decide which things you can definitely stick to your guns on, because it's all about follow through with grown kids.</p><p></p><p>Given his current attitude? If he were mine he'd not only have a deadline for a job, but a deadline for a place to live as well if that job was not found. Might be different if he helped you around the house and was working hard in school to get into college. But he's not. And the sooner he learns the world isn't going to let him be a perpetual child, the better for him.</p><p></p><p>((hugs))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 414435, member: 84"] Well, since he wants to be like other kids and not work..........why can't he just ride the bus to school or walk like other kids who don't work? It won't hurt him to do these things. My kids walked 2 miles one way to the high school everyday in all weather. (we were right inside the bus line at the time so bus wouldn't pick them up) Bottom line, he's 19 and you can't force him to do a darn thing. The only thing you can do is decide what behavior you will/won't put up with in your home and follow through with it. You don't have control over him, but you do have control over your home and what happens there. Unfortunately your son has zero motivation. As long as life is all cushy, that isn't going to change because he sees no reason for it to change. I totally agree with Wtz, if you don't follow through with this threat, there will be no believing you about anything else. It would be a good idea to sit down and really think about what you would expect of an adult (any adult) living in your home. Then once you've done that, look it over and decide which things you can definitely stick to your guns on, because it's all about follow through with grown kids. Given his current attitude? If he were mine he'd not only have a deadline for a job, but a deadline for a place to live as well if that job was not found. Might be different if he helped you around the house and was working hard in school to get into college. But he's not. And the sooner he learns the world isn't going to let him be a perpetual child, the better for him. ((hugs)) [/QUOTE]
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Help don't know what I'm doing with my 'adult' child!
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