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Parent Emeritus
Help don't know what I'm doing with my 'adult' child!
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<blockquote data-quote="rlsnights" data-source="post: 414530" data-attributes="member: 7948"><p>Sell the car.</p><p></p><p>Why should he do anything so unpleasant as get a job when you are taking care of everything so well? A TV to watch, games to play, junk food to eat. He's got a nest and he isn't going to leave it until you either makes things a lot more uncomfortable for him at home or you actually throw him out.</p><p></p><p>Do not make a threat you are not completely willing to carry out. You are deep in debt thanks to this bum and you, sadly, have a certain amount of responsibility for the situation you are in. If there really is all that much work available you knew he wasn't really looking for a job when he didn't find one after a month. Yet it sounds like you ignored the uncomfortable fact that he was lying to you for 10 months.</p><p></p><p>I understand that you may have felt like it would be mean to get tough with him. But there isn't anyone out in the real world who would let him go without making car payments and buying insurance for 10 months. How is he going to know this if you let him get away with it now?</p><p></p><p>Lately I have been feeling really guilty about the situation with my difficult child 2 because I feel like I made some big mistakes along the way. Well I can't go back and undo those mistakes. I can change the way I do things now. And I owe it to myself and to my son to do that. It is hard and embarrassing at times to admit you screwed up. But I believe it is much worse to betray your sacred duty as a parent because it's uncomfortable to admit you were wrong and painful to do the self-examination and hard work needed to change things.</p><p></p><p>Hugs and sorry you are struggling right now.</p><p></p><p>Patricia</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rlsnights, post: 414530, member: 7948"] Sell the car. Why should he do anything so unpleasant as get a job when you are taking care of everything so well? A TV to watch, games to play, junk food to eat. He's got a nest and he isn't going to leave it until you either makes things a lot more uncomfortable for him at home or you actually throw him out. Do not make a threat you are not completely willing to carry out. You are deep in debt thanks to this bum and you, sadly, have a certain amount of responsibility for the situation you are in. If there really is all that much work available you knew he wasn't really looking for a job when he didn't find one after a month. Yet it sounds like you ignored the uncomfortable fact that he was lying to you for 10 months. I understand that you may have felt like it would be mean to get tough with him. But there isn't anyone out in the real world who would let him go without making car payments and buying insurance for 10 months. How is he going to know this if you let him get away with it now? Lately I have been feeling really guilty about the situation with my difficult child 2 because I feel like I made some big mistakes along the way. Well I can't go back and undo those mistakes. I can change the way I do things now. And I owe it to myself and to my son to do that. It is hard and embarrassing at times to admit you screwed up. But I believe it is much worse to betray your sacred duty as a parent because it's uncomfortable to admit you were wrong and painful to do the self-examination and hard work needed to change things. Hugs and sorry you are struggling right now. Patricia [/QUOTE]
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Help don't know what I'm doing with my 'adult' child!
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