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General Parenting
Help! Fiance Continues to Enable Her Daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 747897" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>Just a quick note. Welcome.</p><p>It sounds like you have the wisdom that comes from experience. Enabling only leads to sorrow. It doesn’t help any of the parties involved.</p><p></p><p>Paying for the cell phone might be one POSSIBLE exception in my mind. Others might disagree. But the phone can be needed in case of emergency (to call the police), a way of communicating with the mom and a way to find a job.</p><p></p><p>Also, is there a chance she is mentally ill and might need medication?</p><p>Even still, no doubt, this young adult woman (the daughter) would very likely greatly benefit from some real cause and effect life experiences.</p><p>We’ve learned and discussed at this site repeatedly that enabling adult children is not healthy.</p><p>And setting boundaries can be very helpful.</p><p></p><p>I also agree that honesty is important in a healthy relationship.</p><p>Have you told your fiancé that dishonesty might be a deal breaker?</p><p>Maybe your fiancé should consider going to alanon meetings or the two of you might consider some counseling sessions together?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 747897, member: 4152"] Just a quick note. Welcome. It sounds like you have the wisdom that comes from experience. Enabling only leads to sorrow. It doesn’t help any of the parties involved. Paying for the cell phone might be one POSSIBLE exception in my mind. Others might disagree. But the phone can be needed in case of emergency (to call the police), a way of communicating with the mom and a way to find a job. Also, is there a chance she is mentally ill and might need medication? Even still, no doubt, this young adult woman (the daughter) would very likely greatly benefit from some real cause and effect life experiences. We’ve learned and discussed at this site repeatedly that enabling adult children is not healthy. And setting boundaries can be very helpful. I also agree that honesty is important in a healthy relationship. Have you told your fiancé that dishonesty might be a deal breaker? Maybe your fiancé should consider going to alanon meetings or the two of you might consider some counseling sessions together? [/QUOTE]
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Help! Fiance Continues to Enable Her Daughter
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