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Substance Abuse
Help, I am losing my mind!
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 175924" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am wondering how much of this situation can be helped with family therapy, or couples therapy for you and husband. How much of a deal-breaker is pot smoking in your marriage. Having smoked pot in the past is very different than smoking pot now, esp with a young person in the house.</p><p> </p><p>It sounds as if having difficult child in the home will be temporary as he is planning to enlist. But, your husband may have a sub abuse problem and that is lifelong. Addicts can be in recovery, but they are not cured. Are there other substances your husband uses? Remember that alcohol IS a drug.</p><p> </p><p>I encourage you to search your mind and heart, to attend AlAnon, Narc Anon or Families Anonymous. Get some help that way because you are the wife of an addict, the exwife of an addict and the mother of an addict. Somewhere part of you is attracted to this situation, and it is a pattern that is not healthy.</p><p> </p><p>While you can't change any of them, you can change YOU. And you can decide what example you want to set for difficult child. </p><p> </p><p>I really don't know what the best course of action would be, other than attending some meetings adn getting a therapist of your own to explore why each of the men you have chosen to marry has a problem with illegal substances.</p><p> </p><p>I do know that if the police find your husband is using, they CAN sieze your assets - home, cars, etc... So you need to think about the legal ramifications of having a spouse who uses illegal substances - and what price you are willing to pay if/when your spouse is caught.</p><p> </p><p>Your difficult child needs to know you will be there for him no matter what happens, that you love him. I am NOT saying it was wrong to have him arrested for hitting your spouse, not in any way. I am saying he needs to know you will choose him over your spouse if the chips fall. difficult child also needs to know the armed forces are not light on drug users. They do have rehabs, but there can be a high price to pay for using drugs while in the services. It sounds like difficult child is clean, how smart is it to have the temptations of husband's drug use in the same house, and you not openly letting your spouse know that it is not OK?</p><p> </p><p>Sending hugs and support no matter what decisions you make!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 175924, member: 1233"] I am wondering how much of this situation can be helped with family therapy, or couples therapy for you and husband. How much of a deal-breaker is pot smoking in your marriage. Having smoked pot in the past is very different than smoking pot now, esp with a young person in the house. It sounds as if having difficult child in the home will be temporary as he is planning to enlist. But, your husband may have a sub abuse problem and that is lifelong. Addicts can be in recovery, but they are not cured. Are there other substances your husband uses? Remember that alcohol IS a drug. I encourage you to search your mind and heart, to attend AlAnon, Narc Anon or Families Anonymous. Get some help that way because you are the wife of an addict, the exwife of an addict and the mother of an addict. Somewhere part of you is attracted to this situation, and it is a pattern that is not healthy. While you can't change any of them, you can change YOU. And you can decide what example you want to set for difficult child. I really don't know what the best course of action would be, other than attending some meetings adn getting a therapist of your own to explore why each of the men you have chosen to marry has a problem with illegal substances. I do know that if the police find your husband is using, they CAN sieze your assets - home, cars, etc... So you need to think about the legal ramifications of having a spouse who uses illegal substances - and what price you are willing to pay if/when your spouse is caught. Your difficult child needs to know you will be there for him no matter what happens, that you love him. I am NOT saying it was wrong to have him arrested for hitting your spouse, not in any way. I am saying he needs to know you will choose him over your spouse if the chips fall. difficult child also needs to know the armed forces are not light on drug users. They do have rehabs, but there can be a high price to pay for using drugs while in the services. It sounds like difficult child is clean, how smart is it to have the temptations of husband's drug use in the same house, and you not openly letting your spouse know that it is not OK? Sending hugs and support no matter what decisions you make! [/QUOTE]
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Help, I am losing my mind!
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