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Help I need help with my 3 year old!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 187427" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi. I've adopted a child out of foster care and have fostered. We tried adopting a few others children who were older, but one of them was damaged too much to be in a family.</p><p> Let me tell you what I'd do as our drug exposed kids are not like the kids who were born to us and nurtured and loved and given good prenatal care.T</p><p>First of all, if his birthparents were drug addicts who didn't care about him before he was born, they are also probably mentally ill and self-medicating. Mental illness is hereditary. But the big kink here, that is different than other people's kids, is that he was likely damaged neurologically by alcohol and drugs. He could be on the fetal alcohol spectrum. A regular psychologist probably would miss this. I strongly recommend a neuropsychologist. I haven't had good luck with Developmental Pediatricians and I did take my adopted son to see a few--they totally missed the boat. So that's MY bias--you may choose to take your child to see one. I prefer NeuroPsychs. </p><p>On top of all that, your child has been in five homes in his short life. I am guessing that not only is he damaged in some way by his poor prenatal care, but he likely has serious attachment issues (see Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)...Google it up if you have to). It rarely stands alone, but any child who has had five homes in two years is likely going to have attachment problems and they can cause serious behavior problems. A combo of attachment problems and unknown problems from drug exposure/alcohol exposure is way too much for most regular psychiatrists or counselors to diagnose. You really need to take him to a specialist who understands all of these issues and is used to seeing kids who have them AND who knows enough about Neurology to see if the little guy has alcohol effects, which require a whole special type of parenting. </p><p>I would quickly dump the professional who gave a diagnosis. of CD to a three year old--that means "I have no idea" as CD is supposed to be reserved for over 18 and usually means years and years of untreated mental illness. He is saying the three year old has psychopathic behavior and he's only three.</p><p>Certain locations have very good neuropsychologist centers. Chicago has a wonderful center for kids who were drug exposed. </p><p>Your child is more complicated than most children here because of his background. My son was misdiagnosed so many times it made me dizzy. He used to rage and act out, but now he doesn't. Luckily, he is only on the autism spectrum, high functioning. He is not mentally ill (although we were told he was early on) nor is he on the alcohol spectrum even though his birthmother drank (he has no symptoms of the learning problems that fetal alcohol spectrum causes).</p><p>You are probably not going to get clearcut answers right away, but I'd definitely want to know if he appears to have been damaged by alcohol (believe it or not, alcohol does worse damage than cocaine--and if they say "yes" to cocaine, they also drink). And you need to address likely attachment issues. For all you know, he was sexually or physically abused in one of those five homes too. We were saddened to find out what some of these foster kids go through while in foster care.</p><p>I'd start with a neuropsychologist, and it would help if he sees a lot of kids who are from foster care, as they ARE different than kids who were nurtured even in the womb. Good luck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 187427, member: 1550"] Hi. I've adopted a child out of foster care and have fostered. We tried adopting a few others children who were older, but one of them was damaged too much to be in a family. Let me tell you what I'd do as our drug exposed kids are not like the kids who were born to us and nurtured and loved and given good prenatal care.T First of all, if his birthparents were drug addicts who didn't care about him before he was born, they are also probably mentally ill and self-medicating. Mental illness is hereditary. But the big kink here, that is different than other people's kids, is that he was likely damaged neurologically by alcohol and drugs. He could be on the fetal alcohol spectrum. A regular psychologist probably would miss this. I strongly recommend a neuropsychologist. I haven't had good luck with Developmental Pediatricians and I did take my adopted son to see a few--they totally missed the boat. So that's MY bias--you may choose to take your child to see one. I prefer NeuroPsychs. On top of all that, your child has been in five homes in his short life. I am guessing that not only is he damaged in some way by his poor prenatal care, but he likely has serious attachment issues (see Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)...Google it up if you have to). It rarely stands alone, but any child who has had five homes in two years is likely going to have attachment problems and they can cause serious behavior problems. A combo of attachment problems and unknown problems from drug exposure/alcohol exposure is way too much for most regular psychiatrists or counselors to diagnose. You really need to take him to a specialist who understands all of these issues and is used to seeing kids who have them AND who knows enough about Neurology to see if the little guy has alcohol effects, which require a whole special type of parenting. I would quickly dump the professional who gave a diagnosis. of CD to a three year old--that means "I have no idea" as CD is supposed to be reserved for over 18 and usually means years and years of untreated mental illness. He is saying the three year old has psychopathic behavior and he's only three. Certain locations have very good neuropsychologist centers. Chicago has a wonderful center for kids who were drug exposed. Your child is more complicated than most children here because of his background. My son was misdiagnosed so many times it made me dizzy. He used to rage and act out, but now he doesn't. Luckily, he is only on the autism spectrum, high functioning. He is not mentally ill (although we were told he was early on) nor is he on the alcohol spectrum even though his birthmother drank (he has no symptoms of the learning problems that fetal alcohol spectrum causes). You are probably not going to get clearcut answers right away, but I'd definitely want to know if he appears to have been damaged by alcohol (believe it or not, alcohol does worse damage than cocaine--and if they say "yes" to cocaine, they also drink). And you need to address likely attachment issues. For all you know, he was sexually or physically abused in one of those five homes too. We were saddened to find out what some of these foster kids go through while in foster care. I'd start with a neuropsychologist, and it would help if he sees a lot of kids who are from foster care, as they ARE different than kids who were nurtured even in the womb. Good luck! [/QUOTE]
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