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Help me ffigure out a way to help difficult child see that teasing...
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 405476" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Maybe you can do something to help him see that if BOTH parties don't think it is amusing or funny then it just isn't. Explain that you AND other adults have seen him do this with teasing and with annoying noises, behaviors, etc..., and that you are not trying to pick on him, but you want to help him learn how to be a good friend. Ask him to list what makes someone a good friend TO HIM. Ask how he feels when a friend knows that he is upset by something and then brings it up and keeps talking about it after difficult child asks him to stop. See if he can connect how he feels then to how his friend felt last night. </p><p> </p><p>If nothing else, writing down a list of things that make you a good friend and ones that make you a bad friend can help him see these things. Ask him how his behavior on different occasions fits into this list, then if that is the message he wants to send. Let him know you are not angry, but you are trying to let him see how his actions are perceived by others. Maybe the 2 of you can set up a code word that you can use when you see him doing things on the "bad friend" list. This can be a code to stop what he is doing and do soemthing else. It won't work at all the first few times you do it, but with practice it will begin to work.</p><p> </p><p>Hopefully by learning how to do this out of school he can learn to do it in school. </p><p> </p><p>Has he ever been evaluated privately for sensory integration disorder? Lots of times it is sensory issues that get kids all wound up to the point they are not paying attention to social cues. A Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) diagnosis could lead to interventions and sensory breaks at school, which can make a HUGe difference in how a child behaves. Even if he is technically "too old" for brushing therapy (we had several Occupational Therapist (OT)'s tell us that after age 7 or so it didn't work, but I still did it on Jess and Wiz and it helped them a LOT), it can still help even if you only do it twice a day at home when you can. He can also learn to do some of the joint compressions to himself to see if that will help him when he gets overloaded. Wiz often would look like he was cracking his knuckles or stretching or whatever when he was doing compressions on some of his joints. he said it helped him not get overloaded.</p><p> </p><p>I hope some of this helps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 405476, member: 1233"] Maybe you can do something to help him see that if BOTH parties don't think it is amusing or funny then it just isn't. Explain that you AND other adults have seen him do this with teasing and with annoying noises, behaviors, etc..., and that you are not trying to pick on him, but you want to help him learn how to be a good friend. Ask him to list what makes someone a good friend TO HIM. Ask how he feels when a friend knows that he is upset by something and then brings it up and keeps talking about it after difficult child asks him to stop. See if he can connect how he feels then to how his friend felt last night. If nothing else, writing down a list of things that make you a good friend and ones that make you a bad friend can help him see these things. Ask him how his behavior on different occasions fits into this list, then if that is the message he wants to send. Let him know you are not angry, but you are trying to let him see how his actions are perceived by others. Maybe the 2 of you can set up a code word that you can use when you see him doing things on the "bad friend" list. This can be a code to stop what he is doing and do soemthing else. It won't work at all the first few times you do it, but with practice it will begin to work. Hopefully by learning how to do this out of school he can learn to do it in school. Has he ever been evaluated privately for sensory integration disorder? Lots of times it is sensory issues that get kids all wound up to the point they are not paying attention to social cues. A Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) diagnosis could lead to interventions and sensory breaks at school, which can make a HUGe difference in how a child behaves. Even if he is technically "too old" for brushing therapy (we had several Occupational Therapist (OT)'s tell us that after age 7 or so it didn't work, but I still did it on Jess and Wiz and it helped them a LOT), it can still help even if you only do it twice a day at home when you can. He can also learn to do some of the joint compressions to himself to see if that will help him when he gets overloaded. Wiz often would look like he was cracking his knuckles or stretching or whatever when he was doing compressions on some of his joints. he said it helped him not get overloaded. I hope some of this helps. [/QUOTE]
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