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Help me ffigure out a way to help difficult child see that teasing...
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<blockquote data-quote="timer lady" data-source="post: 405499" data-attributes="member: 393"><p>wm is very much this way. wm's thinking is extremely distorted; it's okay for him to tease & taunt but if the tease & taunt is toward him he blows. wm's capacity to see outside of his world is limited. It's taken years to teach wm that it's not okay to buy friends or taunt them. It's taken years for wm to learn that if he treats friends that way he won't keep friends. </p><p></p><p>My response to wm each & every time is "give to get". I then have him explain back to me what exactly that phrase means & how it applies to the latest blow up with friend or foster brother. His treatment team has to cue wm when he's going over the top with a friend or family member. There's a great deal of role playing with wm being the teased & the teaser. </p><p></p><p>Saying the above wm's coping, emotional capacity is that of a 7 year old. A very goofy clueless stage for boys.</p><p></p><p>Is your difficult child clear on the consequences of taunting & teasing? Is his emotional age less than his physical age? Does he understand cause & effect? If he understands, does it stay with him? Is this a coping strategy for him? </p><p></p><p>Eventually difficult child 2 will have to navigate the world around him ~ childhood & school is time to practice those life skills needed. It's also very difficult at the age of 12 to know where you fit in ~ especially if you have "issues". I wonder if this isn't a defense - hurt before I get hurt kind of thing. Either way he will need to learn new skills to keep friends.</p><p></p><p>Just a few things to consider.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="timer lady, post: 405499, member: 393"] wm is very much this way. wm's thinking is extremely distorted; it's okay for him to tease & taunt but if the tease & taunt is toward him he blows. wm's capacity to see outside of his world is limited. It's taken years to teach wm that it's not okay to buy friends or taunt them. It's taken years for wm to learn that if he treats friends that way he won't keep friends. My response to wm each & every time is "give to get". I then have him explain back to me what exactly that phrase means & how it applies to the latest blow up with friend or foster brother. His treatment team has to cue wm when he's going over the top with a friend or family member. There's a great deal of role playing with wm being the teased & the teaser. Saying the above wm's coping, emotional capacity is that of a 7 year old. A very goofy clueless stage for boys. Is your difficult child clear on the consequences of taunting & teasing? Is his emotional age less than his physical age? Does he understand cause & effect? If he understands, does it stay with him? Is this a coping strategy for him? Eventually difficult child 2 will have to navigate the world around him ~ childhood & school is time to practice those life skills needed. It's also very difficult at the age of 12 to know where you fit in ~ especially if you have "issues". I wonder if this isn't a defense - hurt before I get hurt kind of thing. Either way he will need to learn new skills to keep friends. Just a few things to consider. [/QUOTE]
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