Help me get out of my Bipolar Episode, Please!

[ChristieR]

To top everything off I just found out that my Grandmother died today. I dont know how much more i can handle. Now my husband wants to talk about how ive been acting, and not helping around the house....way wrong time!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Steely]

Hang tight. Tell husband that you are really experiencing some mental instability, and you are thinking of getting some additional help. Ask him what he suggests, draw him into helping you find the solution. Explain to him what you are feeling, ask him for help.

I am so sorry about your grandmother.
Hugs.
Keep us posted.

 

[ChristieR]

I tried talking to my dr and she said to up my dosage of abilify faster. Thats all she said, so i am going to go to another dr and get a second opinion. I hate feeling like this and Im worried about my poor mother handling the death of my grandmother. Im in Tulsa and their doing everything in NY so I cant afford to go. Its very depressing, for anyone Im sure, not to mention someone with Bipolar. My husbands ex wife and I are close friends, wierd I know, but cool, she knows of a place I can go to for free so Im gonna try there, She has been there before and I guess liked it. Im at my wits end with all of this, I cant seem to get help anywhere.

 

[DammitJanet]

Im sorry it took me a bit to come back to this thread. I have a ton of stuff going on here myself and I know how overwhelming it can be.

Im so sorry about your grandmother. That is just something you didnt need right now. Also sorry that your hubby decides this is the best time to talk about your moods...that always makes me mad...lol. The worst thing anyone can do is ask me if I have taken my medications because I am acting witchy. I go ballistic on them...lol.

I hope going to a new place will help you. Maybe the increase in abilify will be the key. I hope so.

As far as why I cant take certain medications...well I seem to end up with strange reactions to things that other people handle and dont have the weird reactions to medications that others think are awful.

Remeron is an anti-depressant and it can stimulate you...even though it makes you sleep. Trazadone did that to me. At first it helped me sleep but then it started making the insomnia worse. Im also another one who seems to need two mood stabilizers on board. For years I had lamictal and topamax which worked well for me but we just recently changed me to lamictal and zonogran because of my insurance plus we wanted to see if the topamax had pooped out on me. Im iffy on the results right now.

 

[totoro]

Christie~
I am sorry you are struggling SO bad. I have Bipolar Disorder also... they think type I now after watching me for years... I am on Lamictal and Topamax and Ambian... I was on Trazadone and Zoloft as well but I found the AD's to induce my mania... I was agitated A LOT!!!
I had an episode were for 2 weeks I could not sleep and I had panic attacks, all of that fun stuff... husband and I were fighting. Lots of bad things.
I was cycling pretty bad. I was not around my doctor's... but I found I had to stop the Zoloft. I then had to decrease the Topamax later after I was back in touch with my doctor. I increased my Lamictal and have Difficult Child'd the Trazadone. I found the AD's just are not good for me. So I went back to Ambian and a small dose of Topamax and higher dose of Lamictal.
But while I was increasing the Lamictal it was SO hard... very unstable. Breakthrough mania... anxiety.
I found that during the 2 weeks and even now, I have to take walks, watch diet, try really hard!!! to go to bed at a decent hour... I do not sleep a lot... I find excuses to not take the Ambien...

But the big thing is to talk about it. I have found that I make husband listen. I have made it a thing in my life. If he wants to be a part of my life, he has to be a part of my BiPolar (BP) as well... SO he has to help me try and stay stable. So when he sees me start to fall apart I have to listen to him... and I need to talk to him, when I start to feel it. I will increase my Topamax a bit. Or some other thing that doctor and I have discussed. The past 3 days I upped my Topamax by 25mg... when I felt a bit up... It helps me. I used to do this with my Zoloft.
If you have a good doctor you can have a plan or a PRN on hand to help you when you start elevating...
Walks, diet, sleep, journaling. Forcing husband to listen and yourself to talk... are all good.
I clean... the frantic frenzied cleaning helps me... yuck I know!!!

Hang in there... If it isn't husband for you to vent to you need someone.

 

[ChristieR]

That is some good advice, thank u. I do try to make husband listen to me but he is really mad at me for quitting my job, he wont barely talk to me about anything. Its been a week now and still no talking, just the basics. My father is coming this weekend for my sons 4th birthday, so maybe that will be good for me. We will see.

 

[mom23gsfg]

can you find an outlet of some sort to occupy ur mind?..i bake to let out my frustrations ...the only down side of that is everyone gets too much suger then lol...i know how u feel ...i have bipolar also, i used to do some crazy stuff before i found out what my problem was ... i learned that i have to let it out some way. ... yesterday and the day before i baked homemade cinnamin buns , cookies of all kinds , bisciuts for no reason , and ect. until i ran out of flour ( i went through 2 bags ) before i had to stop... luckily i have enough family to send it to or it would go bad . .....
ive also learned that when i get in my "down side" i tend to have a bad image of myself and that everyone else thinks so too ...does anyone else have this problem? i also have problems with making decisions and ect.? i havent figured out that part yet. ...
but if u just want to talk or something im here . ...maybe if i could just find a job where they would let me bake when i get like this ...

 

[ChristieR]

I dont know how to abke from scratch or I would, I know what you mean though. I tried puzzles but they stress me out too much, I like painting but it if it is too intriguet i hate it. I think I may try cleaning like totoro suggested, its not fun but it will take aout some frustrations.
I always have a bad image of myself also, its not just you. Also the decision making, i hate making decisions when im in an episode. Your not alone. Try to stay away from making decisions when your feeling this way, it will problem. end up in a bad decision.

 

[totoro]

I don't really always clean/clean!!! LOL Sometimes I organize, or I will rearrange a room!!! Something to keep me moving, so I will not go crazy in my mind!!! I also do NOT let myself feel like I have to finish... because then you can become more elevated.
I will do things like we organize the girls art table and holder... or all of the books, move some from upstairs to downstairs!!! GO through them, donate. I organize a lot and clean in between...
Gardening is another one for me that helps, when the weather permits. That is the best one for me... I have also found watching birds... I have a couple of feeders around the house. You don't have to spend that much on them. They really do make me smile when a different type of bird will land! I found this little Northwest identifier, I will run and check it!!! Even husband and the kids enjoy it now...
I am also looking into some books along with my doctor's approval and willing to work with me... on me more natural ways to deal with some of this. Here are a couple that, I know people who are BiPolar (BP) swear by... who knows???
[ame="http://www.amazon.com/Nutrition-Mental-Illness-Orthomolecular-Balancing/dp/0892812265/ref=pd_rhf_p_t_2"]Amazon.com: Nutrition and Mental Illness: An Orthomolecular Approach to Balancing Body Chemistry: Carl C. Pfeiffer: Books[/ame]
[ame="http://www.amazon.com/Depression-Free-Naturally-Eliminating-Anxiety-Despair/dp/0345435176/ref=pd_rhf_p_t_3"]Amazon.com: Depression-Free, Naturally: 7 Weeks to Eliminating Anxiety, Despair, Fatigue, and Anger from Your Life: Joan Mathews Larson: Books[/ame]
[ame="http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Medicine-Bipolar-Disorder-Healthy/dp/1571742913/ref=pd_rhf_p_t_4"]Amazon.com: The Natural Medicine Guide to Bipolar Disorder (The Healthy Mind Guides): Stephanie Marohn: Books[/ame]


I am in no way saying to stop medications and go natural!!! I am saying that I am looking into these options of being "healthier" my mind and body, maybe with my medications!!! Maybe one day without.... who knows? I don't think I will ever be able to be completely medication free, but science may change!
I would also talk to a doctor before changing anything!!!
I hope you start feeling better! SOON
I take extra vitamins on top of my medications, I think it helps.

 

[ChristieR]

I think gardening for me would be good too, as soon as it gets warm out. I like the getting things accomplished thing.

Im not so sure about the natural way without medications, that scares me to get off my medications, but who knows, maybe id be better off without my medications. Thats what my husband feels anyway!

I need to start taking my vitamins again, thats got to help some....

 

[totoro]

I think some of these books are in conjunction with your medications... which is nice! That is why I bought them. I don't know if I could ever be medication free...

I do know I love yoga when I have the time and energy to do it. It really is good for your mind and body. I just can't do it without a kid climbing on me!!! Next year both kids will be in school at the same time... so maybe I will pick it up again. We have K, who has BiPolar (BP) do it night, she loves it. We do it together as a family.

 

[Star*]

I am sorry to hear about the loss of your grandmother. My hugs to you.

My so is possible BiPolar (BP) - the jury is still out on a diagnosis for him. But the best thing he has found to control the mini-mania (as he calls it) is just working in the yard - HARD - like raking leaves and making yourself sweat a lot - maybe exercising to a video or something?

As far as the art? How about outline art or cartooning? Get yourself a tablet and when you feel a mood coming on - get it out and draw or trace - YES TRACE things you have printed off the internet!! Use your window and put the thing to be traced as well as a piece of paper over it and trace it with the light behind it -

Even tracing is drawing - and then you can get some crayons or colored pencils and color it in - You do NOT have to be an artist to create something - even if you change it a little - it's still yours.

I draw/paint - and I taught this technique to my son - who NOW -can draw very well - incredibly well - just by looking at something because he got the "feel" for it by tracing.....outlines nothing to intricate.

Draw smiley faces - and do expressions.....

Don't limit yourself !!!!!!

 

[Abbey]

So sorry about your grandmother and your personal wellness. Losing my grandmother was one of the biggest things in my life. She was such a strong, lovely woman.

I've tried many medications...just don't tolerate them well so can't give advice. Never found a doctor that could work with me on how much I should take. I was either so jittery or so sleepy.

Take care.

Abbey

 

[ChristieR]

Thank you for your condolences.

I will try the drawing, and the yoga, I have the stuff but never use it and I dont know why,,,,lazy, i guess
I will start though, I think im getting more depressed not working out and tanning, I love doing that, we cant afford it since i quit my job and everything, so i;ll just stick to the yoga or maybe take a walk with my family, if their still talking to me, my husband that is,

 

[ChristieR]

The Dr. has changed my medications. Finally, I went to a Dr. that understands me. They are dropping the Lithium and the Remeron and decreasing the Abilify to 20mg. But upping the Prozac to 60mg. I really hopes this works this time.

 

[totoro]

I hope so as well!!! I think my Lamictal and my medication combo is working for the first time (fingers crossed/no negative board juju) it feels good!!!
What a weird thing to say!!!
I hope you can feel stable SOON!!!