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Help me sort out my feelings...
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 147916" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>I love your little Thumper avatar - so sweet. </p><p> </p><p>You know - I guess I get how you feel with him coming and going and feeling taken advantage of. For me - that would almost seem historically indicative of "Watch this - first I'll just stay out on Friday and Saturday - and then I'll work /weazle my way up to - No sweat Mom - you never said I could not stay out on school nights or all weekend or for 2 weeks." </p><p> </p><p>I call that being used to being used - to the point where everything they do to us puts us on guard so that we do NOT get used more than we used to. Make sense? </p><p> </p><p>Give them an inch and they'll tell you "I NEED the mile, the ruler, the road, the sky, your breath oh oh and while I'm at it - I need the car keys and the gas card, and my clothes washed and the cell phone - and some sandwhiches packed and that fruit cup I like -NO NO NOT the one with cherries - the other one - and some new socks, and underwear while your at it - could you iron my jeans and sew a button on my shirt -?" </p><p> </p><p>They leave us with no choice but to be overly suspicious. </p><p> </p><p>I think if you sit down with him to talk - DO NOT tell him that you felt any which way about him staying out. THAT only adds fuel for a later bon fire. Simply tell him that Since he IS living in your house - and he's doing a really good job with jobcorp and chores - the mature thing to do about being gone all weekend is to clear that with you as it is NOW part of the rules. </p><p> </p><p>If it wasn't part of the "rules" before - how does he know he did anything wrong? See? </p><p> </p><p>Add it to the list of we can work on - you can earn. </p><p> </p><p>In my house - 17 = 13 in thinking and maturity. So I'm not so willing to let things like this go, but ONLY because In MY situation - when I let things go - I don't get the appreciation - I get the graduation - to bigger and better freedom without payment. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 147916, member: 4964"] I love your little Thumper avatar - so sweet. You know - I guess I get how you feel with him coming and going and feeling taken advantage of. For me - that would almost seem historically indicative of "Watch this - first I'll just stay out on Friday and Saturday - and then I'll work /weazle my way up to - No sweat Mom - you never said I could not stay out on school nights or all weekend or for 2 weeks." I call that being used to being used - to the point where everything they do to us puts us on guard so that we do NOT get used more than we used to. Make sense? Give them an inch and they'll tell you "I NEED the mile, the ruler, the road, the sky, your breath oh oh and while I'm at it - I need the car keys and the gas card, and my clothes washed and the cell phone - and some sandwhiches packed and that fruit cup I like -NO NO NOT the one with cherries - the other one - and some new socks, and underwear while your at it - could you iron my jeans and sew a button on my shirt -?" They leave us with no choice but to be overly suspicious. I think if you sit down with him to talk - DO NOT tell him that you felt any which way about him staying out. THAT only adds fuel for a later bon fire. Simply tell him that Since he IS living in your house - and he's doing a really good job with jobcorp and chores - the mature thing to do about being gone all weekend is to clear that with you as it is NOW part of the rules. If it wasn't part of the "rules" before - how does he know he did anything wrong? See? Add it to the list of we can work on - you can earn. In my house - 17 = 13 in thinking and maturity. So I'm not so willing to let things like this go, but ONLY because In MY situation - when I let things go - I don't get the appreciation - I get the graduation - to bigger and better freedom without payment. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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