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Help me sort out my feelings...
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 148053" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>Hey there CAmom. Im very late to this thread too. Sorry bout that.</p><p></p><p>I dont think its unnatural for parents of grown kids to expect some expectations out of them...when they live at home (and even if they dont).</p><p></p><p>I dont have this much of a problem with my kids because they just dont have that much to do around here. They rarely stay out without telling us beforehand. I do have a bit more trouble with getting them to actually help around the house unless I point it out to them. My feeling is that if you live here you need to help out. Both of mine contribute to household expenses in some way. I still feel taken advantage of on some level because I am the driver for them. Neither one of mine at home drives. If someone wants or needs a ride I really would like to be consulted first. </p><p></p><p>The family meals and such arent a problem for us because they are normally either at home for them or at work so that is fine. I do expect certain chores to be done because I need the help. I dont do their laundry at all. Thats up to them. I expect them to clean up the kitchen most of the time and to cook several times a week. They also need to keep their areas reasonably clean and to help me out if I ask for help...though I really would like them to see that something needs doing without me asking it. Im working on getting them there. </p><p></p><p>In your case I think I would talk to him and just tell him that you arent comfortable with being the motel six. Tell him that you would like him to participate with some sort of family time a few times a week. Give him reasonable chores that you would expect a close friend or family member to do if they were a guest in your home. He can certainly be expected to clean up after himself and help out in other ways too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 148053, member: 1514"] Hey there CAmom. Im very late to this thread too. Sorry bout that. I dont think its unnatural for parents of grown kids to expect some expectations out of them...when they live at home (and even if they dont). I dont have this much of a problem with my kids because they just dont have that much to do around here. They rarely stay out without telling us beforehand. I do have a bit more trouble with getting them to actually help around the house unless I point it out to them. My feeling is that if you live here you need to help out. Both of mine contribute to household expenses in some way. I still feel taken advantage of on some level because I am the driver for them. Neither one of mine at home drives. If someone wants or needs a ride I really would like to be consulted first. The family meals and such arent a problem for us because they are normally either at home for them or at work so that is fine. I do expect certain chores to be done because I need the help. I dont do their laundry at all. Thats up to them. I expect them to clean up the kitchen most of the time and to cook several times a week. They also need to keep their areas reasonably clean and to help me out if I ask for help...though I really would like them to see that something needs doing without me asking it. Im working on getting them there. In your case I think I would talk to him and just tell him that you arent comfortable with being the motel six. Tell him that you would like him to participate with some sort of family time a few times a week. Give him reasonable chores that you would expect a close friend or family member to do if they were a guest in your home. He can certainly be expected to clean up after himself and help out in other ways too. [/QUOTE]
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