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<blockquote data-quote="Goalkeeper21" data-source="post: 444348" data-attributes="member: 12104"><p>I know this is a silly request as no one can fully understand why our PCs do what they do but someone please help me try and understand my easy child's actions. He moved out about 2 months ago to live with his 14 year old girlfriend. I already know all the illegalities of his choice, but since he is 18 and the girlfriend's parents totally support and even encourage the relationship our hands are pretty much tied, and we are merely trying to stay sane and deflect the hate he feels for us (mainly me as I am the stronger willed of the two parents). For many weeks he inundated by phone with nastly and demanding text messages. On the advice of a fellow parent from this forum, I laid down the law and explained that I would no longer tolerate the disrespect and if he continued to be rude, I would not respond/answer any messages. Thanks for the advice, and it has worked wonders, and even when he slips, I stay strong and repeat the message. The last week however has been a strange one and has left me so confused. He floats between the I hate you b****, to inquiring as to whether we would allow him to move home. After we reply that he is always welcomed to move back so long as he can live with the household rules, and he attends family counseling with us to work on repairing the damage caused by the situation (the rest of the family has been seeing a counselor since he left), we will get a nasty message saying he has no intention of moving home. We saw him for the first time last night as he stopped by our house to yell at us because he went to my inlaws last night to fish and they told him to get off their property. They are devout Christians and told him to go home and read the commandment on "honor thy mother and thy father". He was livid that we shared our family problems with them. I guess I need some tough love advice on how to best handle the bull****. I want him to come home, but I am not begging and it certainly is going to only happen if he can live by our rules. Why do they play the games and what do they hope to accomplish? Do they really hate us the much, or are they hurting that bad that they want to make us miserable to? Most importantly, how do we put an end to it?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Goalkeeper21, post: 444348, member: 12104"] I know this is a silly request as no one can fully understand why our PCs do what they do but someone please help me try and understand my easy child's actions. He moved out about 2 months ago to live with his 14 year old girlfriend. I already know all the illegalities of his choice, but since he is 18 and the girlfriend's parents totally support and even encourage the relationship our hands are pretty much tied, and we are merely trying to stay sane and deflect the hate he feels for us (mainly me as I am the stronger willed of the two parents). For many weeks he inundated by phone with nastly and demanding text messages. On the advice of a fellow parent from this forum, I laid down the law and explained that I would no longer tolerate the disrespect and if he continued to be rude, I would not respond/answer any messages. Thanks for the advice, and it has worked wonders, and even when he slips, I stay strong and repeat the message. The last week however has been a strange one and has left me so confused. He floats between the I hate you b****, to inquiring as to whether we would allow him to move home. After we reply that he is always welcomed to move back so long as he can live with the household rules, and he attends family counseling with us to work on repairing the damage caused by the situation (the rest of the family has been seeing a counselor since he left), we will get a nasty message saying he has no intention of moving home. We saw him for the first time last night as he stopped by our house to yell at us because he went to my inlaws last night to fish and they told him to get off their property. They are devout Christians and told him to go home and read the commandment on "honor thy mother and thy father". He was livid that we shared our family problems with them. I guess I need some tough love advice on how to best handle the bull****. I want him to come home, but I am not begging and it certainly is going to only happen if he can live by our rules. Why do they play the games and what do they hope to accomplish? Do they really hate us the much, or are they hurting that bad that they want to make us miserable to? Most importantly, how do we put an end to it? [/QUOTE]
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