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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 197715" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Welcome!!! I'm glad you found us. I do detect that your humor is still intact (not enough drugs in the world for you to get through another day <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/rofl.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="rofl :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /> ) - hang onto that!!!</p><p> </p><p>I would suggest getting the ball rolling not only with a psychiatric/neuropsychiatric evaluation on Gavin but also getting him evaluated through the school district for Special Education services. Please check out the sped 101 archives for some excellent sample letters. They might balk at evaluating but since he's already failing, I think it's worth a try - *especially* if he's having behavior problems at school. Special Education is for children who have disabilities *and*/or behaviors that impair their ability to receive an education. I would also immediately stop fighting the homework battle. I know that probably goes completely against everything you believe in, but 5 hours a night of nonstop chaos is damaging not only to you but I'm sure to the other kids. Drop it. Let the school know you provide time, supplies, and parental supervision for homework but that you are no longer going to engage in WWIII to try to get it done.</p><p> </p><p>Please please do not beat yourself up over having less than maternal feelings towards him right now. As Busywend said, that's where a lot of us were when we arrived here. I went through at least a year where my first and last thoughts of the day were "I hate him". I didn't really, deep down, but boy I have to tell you, I *really* hated what we were going thru with him. Life was one long restraint peppered with me getting bitten, spit on hit, threatened with knives, to say nothing of the endless calls from school. It was not a fun time.</p><p> </p><p>You need to find time to take care of yourself. I heard that when I got here and I ignored it until I had my own meltdown. It's really really important that you get a chance to soothe your nerves and collect yourself. Calgon, candles, and a good bottle of wine (if you are so inclined) are good. A walk through the mall could do it for me. A good book. Days on end on this board. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> Whatever props you up, gives you enough strength to get through the day, go for it. </p><p> </p><p>I hear you about no dates with hubby and no family outings. My last real date with my hubby was in 1994 - no joke. Our family circumstances make a sitter an impossibility. But we do find time after the kids are in bed to reconnect - doing stupid stuff like playing cards or backgammon or whatever. It's just a minute for us to be Sue and Husband, not Mom and Dad, and it helps us to stay connected no matter how hairy things get around here. You have to improvise as best you can, in a way that works for you, until things get better.</p><p> </p><p>Again - welcome and I'm so glad you found us!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 197715, member: 8"] Welcome!!! I'm glad you found us. I do detect that your humor is still intact (not enough drugs in the world for you to get through another day :rofl: ) - hang onto that!!! I would suggest getting the ball rolling not only with a psychiatric/neuropsychiatric evaluation on Gavin but also getting him evaluated through the school district for Special Education services. Please check out the sped 101 archives for some excellent sample letters. They might balk at evaluating but since he's already failing, I think it's worth a try - *especially* if he's having behavior problems at school. Special Education is for children who have disabilities *and*/or behaviors that impair their ability to receive an education. I would also immediately stop fighting the homework battle. I know that probably goes completely against everything you believe in, but 5 hours a night of nonstop chaos is damaging not only to you but I'm sure to the other kids. Drop it. Let the school know you provide time, supplies, and parental supervision for homework but that you are no longer going to engage in WWIII to try to get it done. Please please do not beat yourself up over having less than maternal feelings towards him right now. As Busywend said, that's where a lot of us were when we arrived here. I went through at least a year where my first and last thoughts of the day were "I hate him". I didn't really, deep down, but boy I have to tell you, I *really* hated what we were going thru with him. Life was one long restraint peppered with me getting bitten, spit on hit, threatened with knives, to say nothing of the endless calls from school. It was not a fun time. You need to find time to take care of yourself. I heard that when I got here and I ignored it until I had my own meltdown. It's really really important that you get a chance to soothe your nerves and collect yourself. Calgon, candles, and a good bottle of wine (if you are so inclined) are good. A walk through the mall could do it for me. A good book. Days on end on this board. ;) Whatever props you up, gives you enough strength to get through the day, go for it. I hear you about no dates with hubby and no family outings. My last real date with my hubby was in 1994 - no joke. Our family circumstances make a sitter an impossibility. But we do find time after the kids are in bed to reconnect - doing stupid stuff like playing cards or backgammon or whatever. It's just a minute for us to be Sue and Husband, not Mom and Dad, and it helps us to stay connected no matter how hairy things get around here. You have to improvise as best you can, in a way that works for you, until things get better. Again - welcome and I'm so glad you found us! [/QUOTE]
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