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<blockquote data-quote="katya02" data-source="post: 197751" data-attributes="member: 2884"><p>Hi WantingPeace,</p><p>Welcome and hugs. I'm sorry you're in such a tough situation. Gavin clearly has many many issues that may include Learning Disability (LD), a possible mental illness diagnosis, and reactions to his parents' divorce and being 'dropped off' with no notice by his mother to live with a blended family. Plus, as others have noted, there may be abuse, substance abuse, etc. issues you don't even know about yet. </p><p></p><p>Along with the excellent advice from others about getting a neuropsychologist evaluation and getting on the school about an IEP (get a parent advocate if at all possible, to help you make your way through the maze of guidelines and regs), may I suggest you have Gavin evaluated by someone who specializes in attachment disorders. His 'scary' behaviors are the highest priority and deserve to be addressed immediately. And you deserve support! With a diagnosis, whether attachment disorder or something else (or multiple diagnoses), you can access support services in your community.</p><p></p><p>From your description of Gavin's behaviors it does sound as though a residential placement may be a good thing for your family ... all of the siblings need calm, safety, and a sense of predictability at home and that is not possible with things as they are. But first, if possible, a diagnosis.</p><p></p><p>Your description of Gavin could be my difficult child for many years. I feel guilty because I kept difficult child at home and resisted residential placement, knowing he would worsen in that situation, but my other children suffered for it. They all have continuing issues to varying degrees. If I had it to do again, I'd do things differently.</p><p></p><p>If you can find it, along with 'The Explosive Child' I'd also recommend 'When Love is Not Enough' by Nancy Thomas. I think amazon.com has it.</p><p></p><p>Hugs. Keep on keeping on. You're a strong woman to have come this far.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="katya02, post: 197751, member: 2884"] Hi WantingPeace, Welcome and hugs. I'm sorry you're in such a tough situation. Gavin clearly has many many issues that may include Learning Disability (LD), a possible mental illness diagnosis, and reactions to his parents' divorce and being 'dropped off' with no notice by his mother to live with a blended family. Plus, as others have noted, there may be abuse, substance abuse, etc. issues you don't even know about yet. Along with the excellent advice from others about getting a neuropsychologist evaluation and getting on the school about an IEP (get a parent advocate if at all possible, to help you make your way through the maze of guidelines and regs), may I suggest you have Gavin evaluated by someone who specializes in attachment disorders. His 'scary' behaviors are the highest priority and deserve to be addressed immediately. And you deserve support! With a diagnosis, whether attachment disorder or something else (or multiple diagnoses), you can access support services in your community. From your description of Gavin's behaviors it does sound as though a residential placement may be a good thing for your family ... all of the siblings need calm, safety, and a sense of predictability at home and that is not possible with things as they are. But first, if possible, a diagnosis. Your description of Gavin could be my difficult child for many years. I feel guilty because I kept difficult child at home and resisted residential placement, knowing he would worsen in that situation, but my other children suffered for it. They all have continuing issues to varying degrees. If I had it to do again, I'd do things differently. If you can find it, along with 'The Explosive Child' I'd also recommend 'When Love is Not Enough' by Nancy Thomas. I think amazon.com has it. Hugs. Keep on keeping on. You're a strong woman to have come this far. [/QUOTE]
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