Oh, I sure did with my oldest daughter! Is there any chance she is abusing alcohol or recreational drugs? Is she stealing money from you or running away? Has she changed friends to a "bad" crowd recently? Was she always this way?
ODD is kind of a catch-all, not a very helpful diagnosis. Are there any psychiatric problems or substance abuse on either side of her genetic family tree?
When my daughter started even s moking cigarrettes, a habit we felt would harm her greatly as far as health, we cut off her money supply and reduced her to necessities only (she was also doing drugs and used any money she had to "party"). In a sense that helped. At sixteen she had no choice but to get a part-time job after school if she wanted nicer clothing that Walmart (which is what we offered her) or to pay for her car insurance and gas (until we took the car privileges away from her too). Standing very firm, even while she railed at us, was worth it. Today she is totally clean (won't even be in a room where somebody smokes cigarettes) and says that we were right to keep fighting her self-destruction. We get along great. Unless drug abuse is part of the picture and continues on, most kids with defiance come out of it, more or less, when they are older. However if substances are involved, this can cause lifetime issues. Have you ever given her a surprise drug test?
I don't know if this helped, but it was what worked for us. Keep us posted and welcome to the board
