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Substance Abuse
Help: my 23 year old daughter is stealing
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 718860" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>The thing is this. I tell my son: I am not a treatment program. I am not a homeless shelter.</p><p></p><p>BG. What the posters imply is that the changes come from us. Whether or not she wants or accepts treatment does not mean we as parents can hold it as our requirement. Whether or not there is insurance there is somewhere support to change.</p><p></p><p>It is wrong for one adult to destroy another. Even if we volunteer ourselves as victims. To save them.</p><p></p><p>One part of parenting is setting boundaries. We have had to do it millions of times, when they were younger. It is so much harder to do it when we feel it is us or them.</p><p></p><p>But why should it be?</p><p></p><p>But also it is this: it is not us or them.</p><p></p><p>There is a learning here on this site. It is this: to choose for them and ourselves is the same thing. To set a limit for her is to protect yourself. And vice versa. From this she may step up.</p><p></p><p>PS. What we learn here is that we count. We are worth standing up for. They are the ones who must find it in themselves to do the same for themselves.</p><p></p><p>For me this learning is very hard. I am still at the point where emotionally I would step in front of a train if it helped.</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry for the pain of it. For you. Me. Each of us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 718860, member: 18958"] The thing is this. I tell my son: I am not a treatment program. I am not a homeless shelter. BG. What the posters imply is that the changes come from us. Whether or not she wants or accepts treatment does not mean we as parents can hold it as our requirement. Whether or not there is insurance there is somewhere support to change. It is wrong for one adult to destroy another. Even if we volunteer ourselves as victims. To save them. One part of parenting is setting boundaries. We have had to do it millions of times, when they were younger. It is so much harder to do it when we feel it is us or them. But why should it be? But also it is this: it is not us or them. There is a learning here on this site. It is this: to choose for them and ourselves is the same thing. To set a limit for her is to protect yourself. And vice versa. From this she may step up. PS. What we learn here is that we count. We are worth standing up for. They are the ones who must find it in themselves to do the same for themselves. For me this learning is very hard. I am still at the point where emotionally I would step in front of a train if it helped. I am so sorry for the pain of it. For you. Me. Each of us. [/QUOTE]
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Help: my 23 year old daughter is stealing
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