Help. My child may have ODD (oppositional defiance disorder)

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by aleco, Sep 10, 2008.

  1. aleco

    aleco Momof2

    :whiteflag:I am not sure if that is what it is. We are going to wait and see a dr about it. Its just recently he has displayed very defiant behaviors! Before when we would give him a time-out, he would comply. He would argue about it but eventually do it. Now he refuses and instead of even arguing, he laughs at me. Then I tell him that he is not watching any tv because of his defiance and he inisists he doesn't care. So I tell him to go to time out or he will go straight to bed for the night. Instead of complying, he starts stabbing the furtiture with a pen!! I finally had to restrain him and it was downhill from there. This behavior has is pretty new and scarry too because he is 8 and he was doing everything in his power to try and get a punch at me. I took him to the dr last week about this type of behavior but she told me to "encourage him to use his words".....DUH!!!!! In otherwords, I am not sure she took me all that seriously because he was being such a darn angel in her office. So I am calling her tomorrow to explain that its more than that.
     
  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Welcome - It is so hard for docs to believe us when the kid behaves in the office. You are right to be concerned about his behavior - that outright disrespect of laughing and destroying furniture is a red flag. Especially when it is new behavior for him.

    Did you get through to the doctor on Thursday (sorry it took me this long to respond)? What is going on right now?

    Continue to firmly but without showing emotions to tell difficult child what is expected. Work at keeping his attention and reminding him over and over, "That is not acceptable - Go to your time out."

    I am not up on all the testings that others here would advise. However, there is defintly a need to figure this out. Please insist that your doctor gives you a referal for further tests.

    When he is at his worse, you can take him to an ER for an evaluation.

    I hope you haven't given up on us! Let me know you are still here. Give us an update.
     
  3. Charmedpea

    Charmedpea New Member

    Hi & welcome.

    Sorry you are going threw this. What I know about odd.

    My daughter was recently diagonsed with adhd & odd. ODD usually never stands alone their is an underlying something going on.

    Her's started about 3 years ago. Their are no medications for odd. but she is on concerta for adhd, which sorta helps the odd, but when she gets in that zone no amount of medications helps her.

    When she is in the zone, we have to let her calm down, if we start yelling it makes it alot worse, to the point of threats from her of leaving never coming back to violent punching walls, windows, destroying anything in her path.

    She see a therapist to help her learn better coping skills the dr. at the school is testing her right now for an iep she believes their is more going on then we all realize, another disorder. Once her testing is done I will bring that to all childrens hospital phyc dr.s and give them all the testing results to see if they can make heads and tails from it.

    Their are alot more people on this board who can point you in the right direction. The other thing with odd before they will give that as a diagnosis it must be present for more than 6 months.

    Good Luck. keep us posted. Take one day at a time. I would read the explosive child its an awsome book and will give you tools to deal with your difficult child.

    charmed
     
  4. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Video tape his rage if you can. Sometimes just bringing out the camera stops them in their tracks. If he doesn't stop at least you have the proof for the doctor. Many of the parents here have not been believed until video proves the severity of the meltdown.
     
  5. Allan-Matlem

    Allan-Matlem Active Member

    Hi,
    There are different approaches and understandings of ODD. I prefer to see behavior in terms of a learning disability and the intervention is a learning , thinking and problem solving ' working with ' rather than a dong to behaviorist , motivational approach

    http://thinkingchild.com/ read book excerpts - Myrna Shure
    http://thinkkids.org

    I hope this helps
    Allan
     
  6. Needsupport

    Needsupport New Member

    My difficult child also has been diagnosed with-ADHD & ODD. Some days I think the ODD is much harder to deal with than the ADHD. Just wanted you to know that I understand what you're going through. You're not alone. Stay strong.
     
  7. Mrshonesty

    Mrshonesty Nonni trying hard here!

    WOW, sounds like my angel of a grandson who is 7! He is normally very sweet and very charismatic. Everyone loves him. He has gone thru a lot in his little life (long story) and just recently he and his family (2 sisters and dad) moved in with us (grandparents - fathers parents). He just turned! He even hit me and caused me to cry and I have not cried in about 20 years. Total shock to me. I know his sister has problems with what sounds like ODD but with him I was in total shock. His mother had come down to visit us and help take care of them while their father was out to sea and when dad came home we sent mom back because it was just not working out. He is behaving better now, going to therapy and mostly doing well. I have to tell him each day before school to remember to THINK before he does things and then he won't have problems and it seems to help. When he thinks before he does things he seems to bring Cs, Bs, and even As home for behavior. I told him that he chooses to do these things and if he chooses to do them then he has to deal with the consequences. Not perfect but is helping some. BUT, his sister is another story! LOL! ONE day!
     
  8. shawnehler

    shawnehler New Member

    Please tell this is NOT the only Forum for ODD!
    My son is 7 he has been a handfull since he was 2, in daycare the daycare workers would be pulling their hair out most days due to him, home life is stressful to say the least, he enjoys going against the grain in general, constant talker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! annoys with little effort with enjoyment, does not make friends due to these actions, I live everyday waiting for the school to call me about how he has disrupted the class, "attacted" another child, or shuts down.........................does this sound familiar at all?
    I LOVE MY SON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just need to talk to some people that can relate and open some dialog.
    something I have gathered is that 1 or both parents that have some sort of anxioty will pass it on to thier child in some way which could in some way contribute to ODD
     
  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    No, it's not. I'm an old soul around here and many of us don't even believe there is a diagnosis such as ODD or at least that it is n Occupational Therapist (OT) helpful or that it goes along with other things that CAUSE the ODD. You might want to start your own thread.

    To the original poster, has anything suddenly changed in your c hild's life such as a divorce or any major loss? Can you tell us more about his background, his infancy, his early childhood, maybe some signs pointing to this new behavior? If there is none at home, consider that something may have happened to him outside of the home. by the way, ODD does not start at age eight. That is more likely a reaction to something that happened to him.

    Can you please give us background on your son? We can help you more if you do. What about the others in the family? Does he have two parents living with him? Any siblings? Is his home life stable? What about school? Does he have friends?

    Glad to have you here, but sorry you have to be here.
     
  10. allhaileris

    allhaileris Crumbling Family Rock

    I'm with Midwest Mom on this. ODD doesn't start at age 8. I know that there are teenagers that will all of a sudden exhibit those symptoms, but there were always signs. My daughter has had her "issues" her whole life. As soon as she could talk and move, those things came out. ODD was the first label they gave her because she was too young to be able to tell more. Now we know a ton more of what's going on, and we know there is still stuff that is yet to be nailed down, that will come out during or after puberty.

    The fact that he'd sit in a time out before this, I'd say it's not ODD, but a reaction to something in his environment. Social, family, food, etc.
     
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