Welcome to the board Matti
Schizophrenia is a tough disorder to manage, but it can be managed to some degree.......the degree depends on the person's willingness to stay on medications and in treatment, of course........and the severity of symptoms. My maternal grandfather was schizophrenic, my aunt was schizo and bipolar, and my mother is also schizophrenic. Grandfather was a disaster area to put it bluntly. Aunt didn't do bad as long as she stayed on her medication, but off it.....it could get quite interesting. My mom refuses treatment, refuses the diagnosis........and yet still can do fairly well day to day unless under quite a bit of stress, then it all sort of goes to pot.
Perhaps you can contact your county mental health dept and find out what sort of resources might be available for your son. Some places have an assisted living type of environment where there are staff who make sure medications are taken, doctor appointments met, bills are paid, food to eat, the environment is safe, but the person still keeps a vast majority of their independence and privacy.
But I have to say this.................What is he going to do when you're no longer there? That question should remain utmost in your mind. (I know like you don't have enough to worry about, right?) Because that is the bottom line. Yes, he has a pretty serious mental illness. But he needs to learn how to function in the world around him, at least basic functioning, even if it's with the help of disability because he can't keep a job.......needs to learn to pay bills, buy his food, keep a home ect......because there will come the day when you and husband will no longer be there. f
My niece's husband (on my husband's side) was diagnosed with schizophrenia when he came back from the Gulf war. The first few years were horrid because he flat out refused treatment and decided the whole world and his family had "ganged up on him". He went through family members like water because his symptoms were pretty severe.....and honestly, it's no picnic living with a schizophrenic. Eventually he found himself divorced, unable to see his young girls without supervision, living on the streets..........He was in pretty sad shape when he finally agreed to go in patient to start a treatment program. He had to get disability because working was impossible for him. But he did well, except when he convinced himself he no longer needed the medications or they made him feel weird.....then it would be straight downhill until he'd agree to return to treatment. For the last several years he's been doing well and hasn't gone off his medications.
First of all, it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to go find a therapist for yourself. Someone to vent to in person, someone to answer your questions, someone to offer you educated advice.....who isn't going to judge you. We do pretty good here, and I hope you keep coming back. But it's just not quite the same as having someone in person to talk to. I know what it's like living day in and out with a person with this disorder. It's hard. My mom will be fine, chatting along normally, then suddenly something creeps in that throws up a red flag.......and then I have to probe more to see if it's something that is just "normal" for her or something I need to be concerned about. (not so easy to do, I live 2 states away from her) I've been doing that since I can remember, and I'm 48 now. I automatically did the same thing with my aunt too. So to some extent, it's like you're always tense....just waiting for that moment. If you know what I mean. I never had anyone to talk to about it until I went to a therapist at 22, and boy did I unload a lifetime worth of stuff. LOL
But I would also look into other alternatives before just tossing him out of the house.
Hugs
