Help! New to Site

[siobhan123]

Hi,
I have never been part of a web site before and I don't really understand how to get the first posts on threads I can just see the responses. How do I see the original post?
I just joined this site today because I am just about at wits end with my life. My daughter is 9 and has been diagnosed with ODD since she was 5, recently she had her yearly review and was diagnosed with ADHD. This is a first for us (the ODD diagnosis remained) and was also suspected of having PTSD (due to her father and I having problems...)
It's been a long rough road and as I was searching for resources to help me keep my sanity I came across this site and am just looking to find someone out there in this huge planet that can relate to what I am going through since my boyfriend basically doesn't believe in psychology or any of this "****" (so he puts it). It's very lonely on my side of the fence.
Hopefully someone can clue me in as to how I should be navigating around this site and I'll figure out the rest.
Thanks!
Siobhan

 

[TerryJ2]

Hi Siobhan, welcome.
You made the first post, and here's the first response. It worked!

So, what are some of her specific behaviors?

 

[Andy]

Welcome! You made your 1st post! Someone will come along to give more help - I just went snooping around the site to figure it out. I do know about smiles though! When you hit the Reply button, you will get a blank box to type your input. To the right of the box is a group of smilies - very fun - BUT, if you click on "more" under them, you come to a whole wonderful fun world of smilies to choose from - scroll down to view ALL your choices. Click on the smilie and it will appear in your reply.


It will be very helpful to us if you set up a signature - just something short and sweet that doesn't give too much personal info. It helps us remember each other's story. I think it is in User easy child? (I don't have a good memory - just go snooping but I am sure someone will lead you in the right direction soon.)

If you can give us info on medications and who diagnosed your daughter and more info on what issues you are dealing with, we will be happy to try to help out. Remember, we can only reply to the very little info you can give us - not knowing the entire story, our input may not always fit but keep trying, I'm sure something will either be new and work or validate what you are already doing.

A nine year old girl - not yet a young teen, but no longer a baby - she is in another important growth period of her life. She is looking for activities that she is now old enough to do that she couldn't the last few years. She may like crafts - Try giving her paint or colored chalk and empty cardboard boxes to send outside to paint. How about a latchhook item or color by number project? Is she interested in baking?

Anyway, I will wait for more info as to what exactly you are facing.

Welcome again - hope to see you soon!

 

[BusynMember]

Welcome and I have a few questions that will help us help you.
1/ Which sort of evaluation(s) has your daughter had? Has she ever seen a neuropsychologist? Who diagnosed her?
2/ Are there any psychiatric problems OR substance abuse on either side of her biological family tree? The substance abuse would be a big red flag for a mood disorder. What medications has she been on?
3/How was her early development? Was she alert, loving, and did she stare at you as a baby? Did she speak well and on time? Does she interact well with her peers, and understand social cues? Does she "get" people, life, etc. Did she have any sensitivities to foods, fabrics, noise? Can she make transitions without screaming?
3/Is boyfriend a good or bad influence in her life? Does he know how to deal with her? Does he lose his temper? Does he feel she is "bad" rather than sick? If so...you have a big problem.
Do you have other children? You may want to do a signature for your family like I did below.

Others will come along.

 

[Christy]

Welcome!
Glad you've found us. I look forward to hearing more about you and your family.
Christy

 

[So Tired]

Scroll down to the bottom of the threads and you will see display options. You can display the threads from the inital post to the last post, or from the most recent post backwards. In this case the inital post will be on the very last page. I think maybe you have it displayed this way and just need to keep going to get to the last page. I know it is a little confusing at first, but you will get the hang of it!

Welcome -- I hope you find the support you need here...

 

[rob#30]

Im brand new too. I am trying to figure my way around! I have the same situation. Step dad thinks my son is just a bratty, spoiled punk. Not that I havent said that a time or two myself, but I can!! I really feel like NOBODY I know could even possibly imagine what I go through with- my son. I just found this forum today & I was actually excited to the point of butterflies in my stomach!!! I cant believe that othe parents go through the wacky, strange, terrible (and of course sometimes wonderful) things that I do! The only thing I tell myself everyday is If I havent "lost it" yet I probably wont! All the best to you!

 

[Rannveig]

Hi, Siobhan - I just wanted to add my welcome (if I may; this is only my own fourth post, but I've been a lurker for years). My husband has your boyfriend's attitude toward psychology, so I sympathize. Long before I started seeking advice here I drew tremendous comfort just from reading people's stories and hearing their coping strategies; I wish you the same good experience! All best wishes, Ranny

 

[Marguerite]

Welcome all newbies! If/when you can, do a sig. Now you've finally overcome the hurdle about putting in a post! A sig helps us stay in touch with what brings you here and what you're dealing with.

Attitudes to psychology - I DO understand. We're fighting that one with MILL these days. It's at least partly a generational thing - mother in law is a retired nurse and her past experience, back in the days when she did her training, was that psychology was little more than pseudo-medical mumbo jumbo. I've been trying to talk to her about the various psychologists my kids have been seeing, and she has been very concerned that we're being led astray, or the kids aren't getting the help they need.

I also discovered - she doesn't distinguish between psychology and psychiatry, to her they're ALL bad and quackery. So I explained that psychology AND psychiatry have both come a long way and now are an important facet to holistic medicine and multi-disciplinary treatment. I also described CBT for her to help her understand. "But that's just logical!" she replied.
"Not to a lot of people," I told her. "And sometimes a trained impartial observer can help much more than someone too close and too involved."

A few times I've taken myself off to see either a psychologist or psychiatrist, I had to keep my in-laws out of the picture, because they would have been very unhappy about it. We had a few nasty occurrences in psychiatric medicine in the 60s and 70s, which only made it worse - a Sydney psychiatrist set up a "deep sleep" clinic which he used to keep patients sedated for weeks sometimes, often applying ECT while under sedation. People died. Some wished they had. The doctor responsible suicided partway through the investigation. mother in law helped treat some of the survivors.

That said, if you have a really good psychologist or psychiatrist, they can really help. They can also be a necessary part of the assessment process. So if he really hates the idea, he still needs to accept that at least for diagnosis, they are a necessary hoop to jump through.

A book we often recommend here is "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. Just keep quiet that he's qualified in psychology! The book can really help.

Marg

 

[timer lady]

Hi & welcome! You've been given a great deal of information to take in so I just wanted to pop in & welcome you.

I hope we can help you through the journey of difficult child children. Keep posting & asking questions ~ it helps to get to know the community & to contribute to others as well. Really makes you stop & think about our own difficult children & what can & should be done for them.

Again, welcome.