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Help/opinions on my "nastygram"
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 455048" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I guess by now you have sent this. But the problems will continue - the best letter in the world will not fix this problem magically.</p><p></p><p>For future reference there are some phrases and approaches than can really get them moving as much as possible.</p><p></p><p>First - always write in a spirit of cooperation (no matter how snarky you feel and how justified you are to get sarcastic). This is not always easy, but definitely pays dividends when a third party comes in to do an audit, after you commence lawsuits over inaction in five years' time.</p><p>Example: "Thank you so much for your response to my email of [x date]. I got your response on [y date]. However, you appear to have missed some of my more vital concerns. [list them].</p><p>These are vital because [list reasons]. </p><p>As I understand the situation, the current strategies are as follows: [list what you understand them to be doing/not doing. Include inaction or poor response, or reactive rather than proactive]. I have previously stated that these will not work and will in fact make the situation worse for my child as well as for your staff. it is a shame to see the amount of effort being put in by your staff, being wasted because their efforts are applied without the benefit of my advice being taken on board. I do not wish to see your staff workloads increased especially if it is needless. I have some constructive suggestions for your staff, to make the situation easier on them and also on my child. The suggestions are as follows: [list your suggestions, such as daily communication (vital); a safe refuge for the child that is free from clutter belonging to others, that is under discreet supervision and where he can take himself if he is feeling overwhelmed or hassled; proactive encouragement rather than reactive punishment]. The aim is to help this child to learn to manage his own problems but this will take time and patience and cannot be forced with heavy punishment methods. Anxiety will make the problems worse and a heavy disciplinarian approach will increase anxiety and make the staff workload much worse. I do not want that for your staff."</p><p>Your final paragraph - use this often - "If my recollection of the agreement between the school and myself is incorrect, then please let me know in writing by [insert date about a week away] so I can amend my notes accordingly. If I do not hear from you I will assume I have it correctly and will act on that assumption from this point onwards. Thank you for your vigilance in this."</p><p></p><p>A lot of time they will try to communicate by phone and not in writing, because a phone call leaves no paper trail. So do what I do - take notes. Log your notes then send them off to the school in an email with the statement, "Thank you for your call on [x date] in response to my email of [y date]. According to the notes I took during our call, we have agreed on the following: [list agreement] or you have made the following statements: [list statements]." Then add on my generic final paragraph. </p><p></p><p>It also scares the crud out of them if you include a very obvious "CC to..." various more senior educational authorities.</p><p></p><p>This way even phone call contents get documented and disseminated. They HATE this!</p><p></p><p>You have to really get nitpicky and fight dirty sometimes. Also, by quoting dates you can refer back to the date of your original attempts to make contact, such as "I have been trying to make contact with the class teacher since [x date] without success, despite having left messages. Could you please confirm that the following phone number is the correct one? I do hope she has not been unwell and absent."</p><p>That's as sarcastic as you should ever get - ALWAYS leave yourself wiggle room to be able to insist you were not being sarcastic, merely caring about the welfare of the school staff.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 455048, member: 1991"] I guess by now you have sent this. But the problems will continue - the best letter in the world will not fix this problem magically. For future reference there are some phrases and approaches than can really get them moving as much as possible. First - always write in a spirit of cooperation (no matter how snarky you feel and how justified you are to get sarcastic). This is not always easy, but definitely pays dividends when a third party comes in to do an audit, after you commence lawsuits over inaction in five years' time. Example: "Thank you so much for your response to my email of [x date]. I got your response on [y date]. However, you appear to have missed some of my more vital concerns. [list them]. These are vital because [list reasons]. As I understand the situation, the current strategies are as follows: [list what you understand them to be doing/not doing. Include inaction or poor response, or reactive rather than proactive]. I have previously stated that these will not work and will in fact make the situation worse for my child as well as for your staff. it is a shame to see the amount of effort being put in by your staff, being wasted because their efforts are applied without the benefit of my advice being taken on board. I do not wish to see your staff workloads increased especially if it is needless. I have some constructive suggestions for your staff, to make the situation easier on them and also on my child. The suggestions are as follows: [list your suggestions, such as daily communication (vital); a safe refuge for the child that is free from clutter belonging to others, that is under discreet supervision and where he can take himself if he is feeling overwhelmed or hassled; proactive encouragement rather than reactive punishment]. The aim is to help this child to learn to manage his own problems but this will take time and patience and cannot be forced with heavy punishment methods. Anxiety will make the problems worse and a heavy disciplinarian approach will increase anxiety and make the staff workload much worse. I do not want that for your staff." Your final paragraph - use this often - "If my recollection of the agreement between the school and myself is incorrect, then please let me know in writing by [insert date about a week away] so I can amend my notes accordingly. If I do not hear from you I will assume I have it correctly and will act on that assumption from this point onwards. Thank you for your vigilance in this." A lot of time they will try to communicate by phone and not in writing, because a phone call leaves no paper trail. So do what I do - take notes. Log your notes then send them off to the school in an email with the statement, "Thank you for your call on [x date] in response to my email of [y date]. According to the notes I took during our call, we have agreed on the following: [list agreement] or you have made the following statements: [list statements]." Then add on my generic final paragraph. It also scares the crud out of them if you include a very obvious "CC to..." various more senior educational authorities. This way even phone call contents get documented and disseminated. They HATE this! You have to really get nitpicky and fight dirty sometimes. Also, by quoting dates you can refer back to the date of your original attempts to make contact, such as "I have been trying to make contact with the class teacher since [x date] without success, despite having left messages. Could you please confirm that the following phone number is the correct one? I do hope she has not been unwell and absent." That's as sarcastic as you should ever get - ALWAYS leave yourself wiggle room to be able to insist you were not being sarcastic, merely caring about the welfare of the school staff. Marg [/QUOTE]
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