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Help please - 8 yr old bipolar
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 320762" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>Wen, I am so sorry! You have your hands overflowing and Ann is very lucky to have you.</p><p> </p><p>I think about how we are always looking for ways to make our kids "Happy". The good things like taking them to fun places and showing them the world. We try to reach their emotions.</p><p> </p><p>Ann does not understand the "happy" emotions. She never learned them as a child so does not know how to behave when she feels "happy". It is a different feeling and it may scare her. She will need to find her happiness in the small ways until she can handle it. The fun places are overwhelming. And as Marge indicated, could bring memories of horrors to follow.</p><p> </p><p>Your involvment in making her life better will be very hard and endless but you know through your love for her and your hope for her that it will be rewarding if even just in the attempts you make.</p><p> </p><p>I think my suggestion would be to wait some time before trying to make her "happy". What other kids find amazing and filled with joy she is just not yet ready for. Let her find her own "happy" through the safety of each day and the guidance you provide in dealing with innappropriate behaviors. Remember, she has never known any other way of "living" so she does act out when overwhelmed and even just everyday because that is what she was taught in those awful years of abuse. That was ingrained in her. She lived in terror of never knowing what was coming next except that it would be something horrible.</p><p> </p><p>I don't have answers to help get through this. My input would be to provide a strict structure to every day. Set up a strict schedule for what she does each hour of each day. Fine tune the morning and bedtime routines. She will feel some safety in knowing what to expect and that it will never bring that abuse again. in my opinion, because of her intense abuse, it will take years and years and years if ever for her to actually really feel at peace and safe. </p><p> </p><p>Continue getting every bit of counseling and testing that you can. Push your doctors for answers and definitions. O.K., you gave her this diagnosis, what do I do with it? </p><p> </p><p>Stick in there. Plan for the best and prepare for the worst. Continue to be her advocate and always do what is in her best interest. There are no guarantees of outcomes - however, there are success stories out there if even in small degrees. Her success may most likely not be the same success as another her age. Her success may be getting through one day without a meltdown.</p><p> </p><p>Meltdown is what the public views as a temper tantrum but we know it is really overload.</p><p> </p><p>Find your blessings in the smallest of details and share them with us - we will understand as most around you will not. </p><p> </p><p>We are also great for lending a shoulder to cry on or vent. Again, we will understand as most around you will not.</p><p> </p><p>Welcome!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 320762, member: 5096"] Wen, I am so sorry! You have your hands overflowing and Ann is very lucky to have you. I think about how we are always looking for ways to make our kids "Happy". The good things like taking them to fun places and showing them the world. We try to reach their emotions. Ann does not understand the "happy" emotions. She never learned them as a child so does not know how to behave when she feels "happy". It is a different feeling and it may scare her. She will need to find her happiness in the small ways until she can handle it. The fun places are overwhelming. And as Marge indicated, could bring memories of horrors to follow. Your involvment in making her life better will be very hard and endless but you know through your love for her and your hope for her that it will be rewarding if even just in the attempts you make. I think my suggestion would be to wait some time before trying to make her "happy". What other kids find amazing and filled with joy she is just not yet ready for. Let her find her own "happy" through the safety of each day and the guidance you provide in dealing with innappropriate behaviors. Remember, she has never known any other way of "living" so she does act out when overwhelmed and even just everyday because that is what she was taught in those awful years of abuse. That was ingrained in her. She lived in terror of never knowing what was coming next except that it would be something horrible. I don't have answers to help get through this. My input would be to provide a strict structure to every day. Set up a strict schedule for what she does each hour of each day. Fine tune the morning and bedtime routines. She will feel some safety in knowing what to expect and that it will never bring that abuse again. in my opinion, because of her intense abuse, it will take years and years and years if ever for her to actually really feel at peace and safe. Continue getting every bit of counseling and testing that you can. Push your doctors for answers and definitions. O.K., you gave her this diagnosis, what do I do with it? Stick in there. Plan for the best and prepare for the worst. Continue to be her advocate and always do what is in her best interest. There are no guarantees of outcomes - however, there are success stories out there if even in small degrees. Her success may most likely not be the same success as another her age. Her success may be getting through one day without a meltdown. Meltdown is what the public views as a temper tantrum but we know it is really overload. Find your blessings in the smallest of details and share them with us - we will understand as most around you will not. We are also great for lending a shoulder to cry on or vent. Again, we will understand as most around you will not. Welcome! [/QUOTE]
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