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Help please! I need to ask if I was a bad mother. Feel like one.
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 609565" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>My first thought after reading your post MWM is this, let it go...........let it all go.........I have been in that kind of a dramatic exchange and it is easy to get sucked in to it, but........ <em>it is enough. </em>You've been doing this and listening to this abuse vomited at you for a long time now. </p><p></p><p>This is not a normal exchange where one person speaks and then the other listens and then it reverses........this is him using you as the toxic waste dump. There is not enough time in your life left to give him what he thinks he requires.......it is useless to try to fill him up, you will likely always meet this same end. It's inevitable, you cannot ever give him what he needs. He is a bottomless pit and trying to fill that up will exhaust and deplete you.</p><p> </p><p>I think these are the last vestiges of parental guilt from your own parental expectations you can't possibly meet with this son. It takes time to run through all of those. I know, I've gone through a similar process. I still wonder at times, but not enough to re-engage. </p><p></p><p>You made choices to take care of YOU this weekend. I think that may feel weird right now, but you did the right thing for YOU. Stay the course.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 609565, member: 13542"] My first thought after reading your post MWM is this, let it go...........let it all go.........I have been in that kind of a dramatic exchange and it is easy to get sucked in to it, but........ [I]it is enough. [/I]You've been doing this and listening to this abuse vomited at you for a long time now. This is not a normal exchange where one person speaks and then the other listens and then it reverses........this is him using you as the toxic waste dump. There is not enough time in your life left to give him what he thinks he requires.......it is useless to try to fill him up, you will likely always meet this same end. It's inevitable, you cannot ever give him what he needs. He is a bottomless pit and trying to fill that up will exhaust and deplete you. I think these are the last vestiges of parental guilt from your own parental expectations you can't possibly meet with this son. It takes time to run through all of those. I know, I've gone through a similar process. I still wonder at times, but not enough to re-engage. You made choices to take care of YOU this weekend. I think that may feel weird right now, but you did the right thing for YOU. Stay the course. [/QUOTE]
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Help please! I need to ask if I was a bad mother. Feel like one.
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