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Help please! I need to ask if I was a bad mother. Feel like one.
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 609587" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>He is using you as a rubbish bin. Hurtful for you, not helping him in long term. Him cussing and venting to you only gets him aggravated more. Yes, it is something he wants, but it isn't really helpful for him either. You not accepting that is not making you a bad mother.</p><p></p><p>Neither is listening him to vent really a support, when that is only type of 'support' he is looking for. He says he doesn't has chances to get support he needs, but that is not likely true. If he wanted to be proactive, he would most likely find the ways to get real support and help to work out his issues. But he doesn't seem willing to do so, because that is hard and unpleasant route and you have to work hard and be willing to make changes on yourself, not just vent about the 'errors of this world.'</p><p></p><p>Everyone needs to vent at times, but just venting and venting and venting makes one negative and angry and doesn't help anything. Maybe you refusing to be his rubbish bin and listening his venting does not change anything. Maybe he just sulks how even his mother has forsaken him and doesn't take it a wake up call to actually look for help and support he needs. But that is not something you can do anything about.</p><p></p><p>Don't feel guilty for not listening him vent and refusing to be his rubbish bin. When you allow that, it doesn't really help him much and it hurts you. So not much benefit to anyone really.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 609587, member: 14557"] He is using you as a rubbish bin. Hurtful for you, not helping him in long term. Him cussing and venting to you only gets him aggravated more. Yes, it is something he wants, but it isn't really helpful for him either. You not accepting that is not making you a bad mother. Neither is listening him to vent really a support, when that is only type of 'support' he is looking for. He says he doesn't has chances to get support he needs, but that is not likely true. If he wanted to be proactive, he would most likely find the ways to get real support and help to work out his issues. But he doesn't seem willing to do so, because that is hard and unpleasant route and you have to work hard and be willing to make changes on yourself, not just vent about the 'errors of this world.' Everyone needs to vent at times, but just venting and venting and venting makes one negative and angry and doesn't help anything. Maybe you refusing to be his rubbish bin and listening his venting does not change anything. Maybe he just sulks how even his mother has forsaken him and doesn't take it a wake up call to actually look for help and support he needs. But that is not something you can do anything about. Don't feel guilty for not listening him vent and refusing to be his rubbish bin. When you allow that, it doesn't really help him much and it hurts you. So not much benefit to anyone really. [/QUOTE]
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Help please! I need to ask if I was a bad mother. Feel like one.
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