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Help please! I need to ask if I was a bad mother. Feel like one.
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 609620" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>I don't think you need to feel guilty at all. (Said the woman with a <em>huge</em> guilt complex. They invented Catholicism for people just like me.) </p><p></p><p>I don't think that you would have been able to support him in any meaningful way whether you spoke to him or not. If you'd said what needed to be said, he'd have hung up on you. How does that help? If you'd just let him dump on you (which I have been doing shamelessly to anyone who crossed my path for a few weeks) it probably not only won't make him feel better, it will make him feel worse for treating you so poorly. At least that's how I've been feeling about my behavior of late.</p><p></p><p>Was not answering the best way to handle it? Well, probably not. Anything that you weren't there to see or hear should not be something that is considered because it is truly as if it didn't happen. But you have to protect yourself, too. I can hardly budge out of the house or eat at this point in my life. Anyone silly enough to cross me is lucky I don't carry a weapon. (Poor husband. But that's another story...) It might have been better if you had Passive/Aggressively sent him a text when you knew he was in the Depo and said "Sorry I missed your calls, my phone was out in the car and I didn't hear them. I wondered what had happened. I love you and hope it goes well." Then again, hindsight is 20/20. And he is 35 years old. He's beating you up plenty over this. Don't pile it on yourself, we all get to start fresh each day. Whether or not we take that opportunity is on each of us every day.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 609620, member: 99"] I don't think you need to feel guilty at all. (Said the woman with a [I]huge[/I] guilt complex. They invented Catholicism for people just like me.) I don't think that you would have been able to support him in any meaningful way whether you spoke to him or not. If you'd said what needed to be said, he'd have hung up on you. How does that help? If you'd just let him dump on you (which I have been doing shamelessly to anyone who crossed my path for a few weeks) it probably not only won't make him feel better, it will make him feel worse for treating you so poorly. At least that's how I've been feeling about my behavior of late. Was not answering the best way to handle it? Well, probably not. Anything that you weren't there to see or hear should not be something that is considered because it is truly as if it didn't happen. But you have to protect yourself, too. I can hardly budge out of the house or eat at this point in my life. Anyone silly enough to cross me is lucky I don't carry a weapon. (Poor husband. But that's another story...) It might have been better if you had Passive/Aggressively sent him a text when you knew he was in the Depo and said "Sorry I missed your calls, my phone was out in the car and I didn't hear them. I wondered what had happened. I love you and hope it goes well." Then again, hindsight is 20/20. And he is 35 years old. He's beating you up plenty over this. Don't pile it on yourself, we all get to start fresh each day. Whether or not we take that opportunity is on each of us every day. [/QUOTE]
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Help please! I need to ask if I was a bad mother. Feel like one.
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