Help..... Please!!

[daisimitzie]

I'm new to this site. I'm needing some advise. I have 2 children, a girl who's 5 1/2. Also, a son who's 3 1/2. My daughter is great. My son however, he has some major problems. He was the perfect baby up until he was about 18 months ago. He stopped sleeping in his crib, started displaying behavioral problems. It has progressively gotten worse. Getting kicked out of daycare for getting through child-proof locks, bullying, aggressive towards even the teachers, and running away out of class and out of the building. I have had him out of daycare and in the care of my grandmother (who keeps him while I work) since June '07. I have been seeking assistance and am not getting much insight as to why he's acting this way. He has become violent towards myself, my daughter, grandmother, other children, or anyone of athority. He's become out of control... A few weeks ago, I got him in with- another doctor. She said she couldn't diagnos him with- anything because of his age, but wanted to start treating him for ADHD. He's been on Focalin XR for 2 weeks, but his behavior is staying the same, if not worse. ANY ADVISE????

 

[Lulu]

Welcome, daisimitzie. I'm sorry you had to come looking, but I"m glad you found your way here. I don't have any advice, as I'm still new to the game too, but there are people here who do. Just wanted to say hello and tell you you're not alone!!

 

[SRL]

Welcome, hopefully you will find help and understanding here.

Is there anything else significant about your son's development? Any speech delays, motor skill problems, difficulty with foods, etc?

What does the family mental health history look like?

 

[GinAndTonic]

Are you in the USA? If so, your son might qualify for Special Education preschool, which is (in theory) therapeutic. Contact your local school district for screening.

I would try to find a specialist rather than just a pediatrician or family doctor. Your son's doctor should be able to refer you to somebody.

 

[daisimitzie]

Yes, I'm in Oklahoma. I've been refered 2 different times by 2 pediatricians. The 1st specialist a phycologist, my son hit, spit at,and attempted to run away from refused to see again. The second a physiatrist, is the one he saw 2 weeks ago.. It's so weird, he has so many of the symptoms for ADHD, but the medications have adverse effects on him... The anger, hostility, defiance are so strong. Have no Idea what has caused it. I've looked at theraputic day care, haven't had any luck. He will be 4 in June, and I was wanting to enroll him in Pre K. I think I've changed my mind... I feel defeated, helpless, and a failure of a mother.

 

[daisimitzie]

No, he was the perfect child.. It's like he snapped all of a sudden. It's been downhill ever since. As far as family history, My mother is Bi polar. I have had struggles with- depression off and on. His father, though not diagnosed he is an alcoholic and in my opinion is a bit off..

 

[daisimitzie]

I appricate the support and encourgement! This is the first time in 2 1\2 years that I have felt as though I'm among others like myself.. Thanks again!

 

[GinAndTonic]

I've heard -- and it's important to keep in mind that I don't know what I'm talking about -- that if a kid has mood disorder, medication for ADHD can make it worse. Perhaps that's what you're seeing?

Yeah, we all feel defeated, helpless, and like failures sometimes. I'm sorry. You're not a failure, though. You're trying to help your son -- good for you!

 

[daisimitzie]

Until today, I didn't know mood disorder even existed.... I'll definitely look into it. Thank you so much for the kind words. You have no idea how nice it is to hear!

 

[SRL]

Given the level of behaviors and family history, I think you need to have a private multidisciplinary evaluation done on your son--a developmental pediatrician or pediatric neurologist, audiology, speech/language and Occupational Therapist (OT) for motor skills and sensory issues. Parents have found this to the best in terms of a thorough starting assessment and much more helpful than going from specialist to specialist when you don't get answers from the first.

You say his behavior change was very sudden, which would be right around age 2? Did anything else happen around then--illness, days when you saw skills such as speech or walking or interacting with others take backward steps? Or have a bad reaction to vaccines? I ask because it's fairly common for kids with Autistic Spectrum Disorders to have a sudden regression or change right around age 2. Very often it gets picked up in kids whose speech or social skills disappear altogether but missed in higher functioning kids.

I'd also suggest that you do call the school district and get the evaluation process going with them as they are heading into their busiest season and you want to get him on the list. Call, but be sure and follow up with your request for a full evaluation in writing as that sets legal time frames in motion.

Hang in there, okay? We've been through this. We can help.

 

[daisimitzie]

There are many factors that may have contributed to his behavor... My ex husband and I separated August '05. My son was 14 months old. It was 15 months later that he started the behavior... December of '06, about a month after the behavior started, both my children witnessed my ex husband assalt me. He didn't hit me, he grabbed me by the throat and threw me down while I was buckling my daughter into her car seat. My son was behind me. My ex was also behind me. My son saw him approch me and do it. I know that has been something thats contributed to the behavior. However, the behavior started approx. a month prior to that incident. He had tubes put into his ears at 10 months. Other than that no health or anyother issues....