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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 381637" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Hi, welcome. Sorry this is so bad.</p><p></p><p>A couple of things, quickly.</p><p></p><p>First, I loathe the ODD label because it can mislead parents so badly. Also misleads teachers. it makes you feel that the child is deliberately choosing to is behave, that he has control and is using it like thumbscrews. It's almost the opposite. But their behaviour does become oppositional, often because they feel constantly put upon by everybody. Sometimes it's because they are being required to do something they find really difficult if not impossible, such as sit still and be quiet. Sometimes (often) it's because we're trying to correct too much at one time. "Sit still! Come here! Be quiet! Speak up!" and so on. Conflicting, confusing or too many instructions can lead to a kid getting resentful and shutting down. And underling problem such as ADHD (and other issues) can make it a lot more difficult for a kid to comply as well as the kid next to him, but he is still held to the same standard which to the kid, seems unfair. But tis can be turned around.</p><p></p><p>Second, a book tat will help a great deal is "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. it really is almost magic in how it can help. But you do need to read it first! There are links on this site and in other areas, which outline what it is about. </p><p></p><p>Third, there is a fount of wisdom collectively in the heads of people on this site (including yours). Just read around to unlock it all.</p><p></p><p>Welcome!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 381637, member: 1991"] Hi, welcome. Sorry this is so bad. A couple of things, quickly. First, I loathe the ODD label because it can mislead parents so badly. Also misleads teachers. it makes you feel that the child is deliberately choosing to is behave, that he has control and is using it like thumbscrews. It's almost the opposite. But their behaviour does become oppositional, often because they feel constantly put upon by everybody. Sometimes it's because they are being required to do something they find really difficult if not impossible, such as sit still and be quiet. Sometimes (often) it's because we're trying to correct too much at one time. "Sit still! Come here! Be quiet! Speak up!" and so on. Conflicting, confusing or too many instructions can lead to a kid getting resentful and shutting down. And underling problem such as ADHD (and other issues) can make it a lot more difficult for a kid to comply as well as the kid next to him, but he is still held to the same standard which to the kid, seems unfair. But tis can be turned around. Second, a book tat will help a great deal is "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. it really is almost magic in how it can help. But you do need to read it first! There are links on this site and in other areas, which outline what it is about. Third, there is a fount of wisdom collectively in the heads of people on this site (including yours). Just read around to unlock it all. Welcome! Marg [/QUOTE]
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