Thanks to all of you! I have gone thru his room several times. In my mind, taking away all his clothes and just giving him a mattress seems cruel and almost neglectful? But, I understand what your saying. He has no phone, he has IPOD, he could care less about playing xbox. I have talked to gang prevention officers and they talked to resources officer at school and looked at what I found in his room...beads, paper with gang sayings on them etc. and they say he is 'not seriously' involved?? ANY involvement to me is serious.
As far as girlfriend goes, they live in ghetto HUD housing and I have called police who have picked him up from there several times, they DO NOTHING, but bring him home and say that as long as they girlfriend or gm say my son has permission to be there that there is nothing they can do. They don't care about my child being there, it is a joke to them. So, I stopped calling. I take his clothes away and when he calls me from walmart to pick him up after being out without permission he is wearing clothes that either others are giving him or he is stealing??? People say don't let him in the house, don't pick him up..but then I am the one who will be charged with being neglectful and abandoning my child. I'm going crazy!
Police wanted to file assault charges, we went to dept of juv detention prevention yesterday and he spoke with intake who had him sign paper that for 6 months he would go to school, no gang activity/association, listen to rules at home. If not I call and he goes back down. They will release him to me again and he will just continue to do what he wants. difficult child knows the system can't and won't do much.
After reading here even if court ordered him to eckerd I may be responsible for child support and would be giving up my rights? And, if he doesn't want to change then what is the point? I talk to counselors at school so much I know they are tired of hearing from me...my son isn't the only defiant child and it's my problem not theirs?? I'm exhausted. He refuses family counseling. So, I am thinking, give up, throw in the towel. let him do what he wants and pray for the best. It just seems so unfair to us, the parents who are doing everything we know how to get our difficult child the help they need. What if I wanted to sign over parental rights to my parents? How does that work? I have threatened to pick up and move, get him away from this enviornment but that is only just taking the problems somewhere new. Same behavior, different place.