CAmom
Member
In a nutshell, I caught my son stealing money using my ATM card three days ago. He's always been obsessed with money, although he doesn't have a job, but doesn't mind working if something falls into his lap. It's gotten to the point over the past maybe year that most of our discussions and arguments are about money. He lives at home, doesn't have a car, and really has no expenses. I've suspected that drugs were involved for a long time, although a recent drug test just showed marijuana and his prescription medication.
He's taken money via our ATM card a couple of times in the past, but, after three years, I began to trust him again and have allowed him to use it on occasion. When I saw that he had taken a substantial amount earlier this week, I confronted him, but he denied it. Because this had happened in the past, I told him that, this time, I was going to follow up, and I was on my way to the bank to begin an investigation which would include the video footage of whomever "really" used my card. He admitted it then and told me that he owed someone a lot of money for marijuana and they had been threatening him about paying it back.
He told me that, over the past year, he's used whatever money came his way to try to pay this debt, and he's feeling desperate, although he's had enough money on several occasions and could have paid the debt but didn't. I can't feel very sorry for him since a similar incident occurred when he was in high school and he obviously didn't learn from that.
We've had an uneasy truce over the past several days while I've tried to decide the best way to handle this. Today, he took another ATM card out of my purse and withdrew money again. This is the last straw for me, and I told him to pack his things and be gone by tomorrow.
Of course, I'm agonizing now...he told me that he knows he's screwed up, but he's afraid he's going to end up in the hospital and felt that taking money from us was the least of two evils. I'm thoroughly disgusted with him and the lifestyle he continues to choose, and I really don't want him here. But, I'm sick with fear about how he's going to deal with this issue on his own.
Am I doing the right thing? Should we help him one more time? How am I going to live with myself if something happens to him??
He's taken money via our ATM card a couple of times in the past, but, after three years, I began to trust him again and have allowed him to use it on occasion. When I saw that he had taken a substantial amount earlier this week, I confronted him, but he denied it. Because this had happened in the past, I told him that, this time, I was going to follow up, and I was on my way to the bank to begin an investigation which would include the video footage of whomever "really" used my card. He admitted it then and told me that he owed someone a lot of money for marijuana and they had been threatening him about paying it back.
He told me that, over the past year, he's used whatever money came his way to try to pay this debt, and he's feeling desperate, although he's had enough money on several occasions and could have paid the debt but didn't. I can't feel very sorry for him since a similar incident occurred when he was in high school and he obviously didn't learn from that.
We've had an uneasy truce over the past several days while I've tried to decide the best way to handle this. Today, he took another ATM card out of my purse and withdrew money again. This is the last straw for me, and I told him to pack his things and be gone by tomorrow.
Of course, I'm agonizing now...he told me that he knows he's screwed up, but he's afraid he's going to end up in the hospital and felt that taking money from us was the least of two evils. I'm thoroughly disgusted with him and the lifestyle he continues to choose, and I really don't want him here. But, I'm sick with fear about how he's going to deal with this issue on his own.
Am I doing the right thing? Should we help him one more time? How am I going to live with myself if something happens to him??