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Help with 11 y/o ADHD - PTSD
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 278615" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Welcome, worth249.</p><p> </p><p>I see two things here. One is that in order to argue, he has to have someone to argue with. That means you have to stop talking. Stop replying. Just be silent. When he pushes the envelope, dole out immediate consequences.</p><p> </p><p>Sit down with-him and tell him that the next time he argues, he will get one warning. You have to allow a warning so he can see this in action. He's going to say, "That's not fair. I didn't think that counted!" and you're going to say that it does count. After he uses up his warning and argues again, you take away his PS2 or whatever he loves to do, or you send him to his room, or whatever you deem a sufficient deterrent.</p><p> </p><p>I would suggest Doug Riley and John Rosemond books for arguing and defiance. You can find them both on Amazon. (And you can enter through this website, which helps us.)</p><p>More than that, you need in-person therapy. Intensive therapy. </p><p> </p><p>Which leads me to the other issue--the sexual abuse. He's going to need a specialist for that. Not all doctors handle it. It's not something you can go in for once and say, "Done!" It's a long term issue with-long term therapy.</p><p> </p><p>The five-yr-old is in therapy too, right?</p><p> </p><p>And the mother with-PTSD is the birth mom, right? Is there a way you can get custody? Can the birth dad (your son?) get full custody?</p><p>(I'm thinking way ahead here, but it sounds like the potential for abuse is still there.)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 278615, member: 3419"] Welcome, worth249. I see two things here. One is that in order to argue, he has to have someone to argue with. That means you have to stop talking. Stop replying. Just be silent. When he pushes the envelope, dole out immediate consequences. Sit down with-him and tell him that the next time he argues, he will get one warning. You have to allow a warning so he can see this in action. He's going to say, "That's not fair. I didn't think that counted!" and you're going to say that it does count. After he uses up his warning and argues again, you take away his PS2 or whatever he loves to do, or you send him to his room, or whatever you deem a sufficient deterrent. I would suggest Doug Riley and John Rosemond books for arguing and defiance. You can find them both on Amazon. (And you can enter through this website, which helps us.) More than that, you need in-person therapy. Intensive therapy. Which leads me to the other issue--the sexual abuse. He's going to need a specialist for that. Not all doctors handle it. It's not something you can go in for once and say, "Done!" It's a long term issue with-long term therapy. The five-yr-old is in therapy too, right? And the mother with-PTSD is the birth mom, right? Is there a way you can get custody? Can the birth dad (your son?) get full custody? (I'm thinking way ahead here, but it sounds like the potential for abuse is still there.) [/QUOTE]
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