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General Parenting
Help with 11 y/o ADHD - PTSD
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<blockquote data-quote="busywend" data-source="post: 278758" data-attributes="member: 391"><p>I have a master manipulator, too. And it is hard to just not argue. People told me that for years - 'just don't argue with her. you are the boss., etc' </p><p>It frustrated me, because there was no getting out of it with her. </p><p> </p><p>But, silence is truly the 2nd best thing to do. Even if it means he claims that silence as his victory. </p><p> </p><p>The first best thing to do is to pick your battles. You really have to detach from a ton of subjects - just do not care anymore. It is funny, because for some reason my difficult child accepted a few topics as non-arguable. For example, going to school. I did all the usual things and then threatened to call the truancy office if she did not go to school. She never forgot that. I even heard her tell her friends once that she had to go to school or her mom would call truancy. </p><p>Now there had been a myriad of threats through the years, why did that one work? I have no idea. But, I took a stand for school attendance, meeting the adults of any house she went to, and all safety related issues. </p><p>Brushing her teeth? Stopped arguing about it. Taking a shower? Stopped arguing about it. Getting homework done every night? Stopped arguing about it. </p><p>I had to - my house had become a war zone. </p><p>Yesterday she turned 18. I think she has taken more showers in the last 6 months than she has in the last 6 years. Seriously. </p><p> </p><p>Figure out what you are willing to turn your house into a battle zone for and leave the rest.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="busywend, post: 278758, member: 391"] I have a master manipulator, too. And it is hard to just not argue. People told me that for years - 'just don't argue with her. you are the boss., etc' It frustrated me, because there was no getting out of it with her. But, silence is truly the 2nd best thing to do. Even if it means he claims that silence as his victory. The first best thing to do is to pick your battles. You really have to detach from a ton of subjects - just do not care anymore. It is funny, because for some reason my difficult child accepted a few topics as non-arguable. For example, going to school. I did all the usual things and then threatened to call the truancy office if she did not go to school. She never forgot that. I even heard her tell her friends once that she had to go to school or her mom would call truancy. Now there had been a myriad of threats through the years, why did that one work? I have no idea. But, I took a stand for school attendance, meeting the adults of any house she went to, and all safety related issues. Brushing her teeth? Stopped arguing about it. Taking a shower? Stopped arguing about it. Getting homework done every night? Stopped arguing about it. I had to - my house had become a war zone. Yesterday she turned 18. I think she has taken more showers in the last 6 months than she has in the last 6 years. Seriously. Figure out what you are willing to turn your house into a battle zone for and leave the rest. [/QUOTE]
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