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<blockquote data-quote="mstang67chic" data-source="post: 113832" data-attributes="member: 2459"><p>Let's see if I can keep all of these questions straight.</p><p></p><p>What he's CAPABLE of doing: Showering, laundry, cooking, cleaning, taking medications.</p><p></p><p>What I think he COULD do with no problems: Showering, LIGHT cooking, some cleaning (he tends to throw things away rather than wash them and he misuses cleaning products), laundry (assuming he doesn't stuff the washer so full that everything doesn't get clean......or even WET for that matter), medications if he keeps them out and has a reminder (getting Rx's filled in a timely manner.....probably not).</p><p></p><p>What he would DEFINATELY need help with: Money, bills, budgeting. He gets cash in hand and has to spend it IMMEDIATELY. Not just in a typical teen way either. It's almost like a compulsion for him. He got a gift card at Christmas.....literally FIVE MINUTES later was bugging us to take him to the store. </p><p></p><p>He doesn't have a license or even a permit at this point. I truly believe he's not ready and I'm not going to be the one who puts him behind the wheel of a car. He has no idea on how to go about doing household things such as having utilities hooked up or even how to get an apartment. We try to tell him things that he will need to know but he completely blows us off as well as others who try to talk to him too. He's played the game for so long (knowing the right things to say but not following through) that he talks the talk but has no idea how to do the walk. All he sees is what's in a 3 foot circle around him. If it affets him at that moment, he pays attention somewhat. But if it's about others or even himself in the future.....no clue.</p><p></p><p>It's hard to describe him. Physically he's capable of doing anything. But the combination of impulse issues, maturity level (far behind his age), attitude, attention span and basically all of the grandiose thinking that comes with his BiPolar (BP), is one that requires supervision and lots of training to safely do normal everyday things. (Example: the other day he made some scrambled eggs. We have a gas stove and he almost caught two different things on fire because he either wasn't paying attention or didn't think about it. He was using the front burner and there were a couple of hot pad laying on the counter next to the stove. There were actually part way on the stove and very close to the burner. There was also a pan on the back burner that was covered with one of those flat spatter screens. The handle of the screen was turned so that it was melting from the heat of the flame.) It really scares me to think of him cooking more than something in the microwave or just eggs. If he wants to do something he does it. Doesn't matter if he's never done it before, he knows how to do it and you can't tell him otherwise. He will not ask for help or instructions and gets mad if you try to correct him. I caught him cooking bacon one day. It was only a couple of pieces but he had cooked it in cooking oil. Scared me to death. </p><p></p><p>I've heard of group homes for young adults that have issues like him and that is my ultimate goal for him. He, however, goes back and forth on the issue. One day he's fine with it, the next he is absolutely refusing to even consider it. He's not retarded and he's not crazy so he doesn't need that. (his words) He really wants the priveliges that come with his age but is not willing to accept any of the responsibility. He thinks he should be able to do anything he wants and not have to be an active participant in his life or treatment. Yes, he takes his medications and goes to counseling although he will balk at the counseling at times. Honestly I don't think it does anything for him because, as I said, he knows how to play the game. This kid has actually been over heard by his counselors givng good advice and basically counseling other kids. CORRECTLY! But for him to do it himself? Nope. Basically everyone on his team says that they've never came across a kid quite like him and that he's "challenging". Nothing we do makes an impact with him. Nothing. husband and I know we can't have him here for years and years but at the same time, we don't have the first clue about how to prepare him to do for himself. He won't listen, he won't participate, he won't learn. He just wants to sleep, eat, play video games and expects us to do for him, keep him entertained and not have expectations of him. (Not even normal "you live in this house, you help with the chores" stuff) It's all play time to him. If we set down with him and talk about his future, make up a contract, lay out what he needs to do to get out on his own......he'll say all the right things, sign whatever we ask him too, agree with everything we say. But when the deadline rolls around, his words will be "I didn't think you were serious". We've heard that phrase many many times and he doesn't get it each and every time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mstang67chic, post: 113832, member: 2459"] Let's see if I can keep all of these questions straight. What he's CAPABLE of doing: Showering, laundry, cooking, cleaning, taking medications. What I think he COULD do with no problems: Showering, LIGHT cooking, some cleaning (he tends to throw things away rather than wash them and he misuses cleaning products), laundry (assuming he doesn't stuff the washer so full that everything doesn't get clean......or even WET for that matter), medications if he keeps them out and has a reminder (getting Rx's filled in a timely manner.....probably not). What he would DEFINATELY need help with: Money, bills, budgeting. He gets cash in hand and has to spend it IMMEDIATELY. Not just in a typical teen way either. It's almost like a compulsion for him. He got a gift card at Christmas.....literally FIVE MINUTES later was bugging us to take him to the store. He doesn't have a license or even a permit at this point. I truly believe he's not ready and I'm not going to be the one who puts him behind the wheel of a car. He has no idea on how to go about doing household things such as having utilities hooked up or even how to get an apartment. We try to tell him things that he will need to know but he completely blows us off as well as others who try to talk to him too. He's played the game for so long (knowing the right things to say but not following through) that he talks the talk but has no idea how to do the walk. All he sees is what's in a 3 foot circle around him. If it affets him at that moment, he pays attention somewhat. But if it's about others or even himself in the future.....no clue. It's hard to describe him. Physically he's capable of doing anything. But the combination of impulse issues, maturity level (far behind his age), attitude, attention span and basically all of the grandiose thinking that comes with his BiPolar (BP), is one that requires supervision and lots of training to safely do normal everyday things. (Example: the other day he made some scrambled eggs. We have a gas stove and he almost caught two different things on fire because he either wasn't paying attention or didn't think about it. He was using the front burner and there were a couple of hot pad laying on the counter next to the stove. There were actually part way on the stove and very close to the burner. There was also a pan on the back burner that was covered with one of those flat spatter screens. The handle of the screen was turned so that it was melting from the heat of the flame.) It really scares me to think of him cooking more than something in the microwave or just eggs. If he wants to do something he does it. Doesn't matter if he's never done it before, he knows how to do it and you can't tell him otherwise. He will not ask for help or instructions and gets mad if you try to correct him. I caught him cooking bacon one day. It was only a couple of pieces but he had cooked it in cooking oil. Scared me to death. I've heard of group homes for young adults that have issues like him and that is my ultimate goal for him. He, however, goes back and forth on the issue. One day he's fine with it, the next he is absolutely refusing to even consider it. He's not retarded and he's not crazy so he doesn't need that. (his words) He really wants the priveliges that come with his age but is not willing to accept any of the responsibility. He thinks he should be able to do anything he wants and not have to be an active participant in his life or treatment. Yes, he takes his medications and goes to counseling although he will balk at the counseling at times. Honestly I don't think it does anything for him because, as I said, he knows how to play the game. This kid has actually been over heard by his counselors givng good advice and basically counseling other kids. CORRECTLY! But for him to do it himself? Nope. Basically everyone on his team says that they've never came across a kid quite like him and that he's "challenging". Nothing we do makes an impact with him. Nothing. husband and I know we can't have him here for years and years but at the same time, we don't have the first clue about how to prepare him to do for himself. He won't listen, he won't participate, he won't learn. He just wants to sleep, eat, play video games and expects us to do for him, keep him entertained and not have expectations of him. (Not even normal "you live in this house, you help with the chores" stuff) It's all play time to him. If we set down with him and talk about his future, make up a contract, lay out what he needs to do to get out on his own......he'll say all the right things, sign whatever we ask him too, agree with everything we say. But when the deadline rolls around, his words will be "I didn't think you were serious". We've heard that phrase many many times and he doesn't get it each and every time. [/QUOTE]
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