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Help with autistic teen behavior!
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<blockquote data-quote="LadyM" data-source="post: 336114"><p>I know what you're saying, but it's SO difficult.</p><p></p><p>Earlier today I caught him playing his sisters game that she bought with her allowance money. She told him she didn't want him to play it. I didn't think this a major issue but I did remind him that he wasn't supposed to play it. At some point in the conversation, he blurted that if I told his sister, he'd embarrass me in a store. I didn't take kindly to being threatened and told him as much. To which he replied "it was a promise, not a threat". By this point I was torqued and said "you know, I hadn't planned on saying anything to her, but now I believe I will", which as expected, mad him angry. </p><p></p><p>Fast forward to bedtime. I had asked him to bring down his sheets and school clothes earlier in the evening. He failed to bring down any of his mattress protectors and I didn't notice it. I gave him his sheets to make his bed and he started going off about no protector. I told him that I washed what he gave me and he started ranting about not having it.</p><p></p><p>Now I'm not new to this game. This is the Autism kicking in as far as something having to be the way it's supposed to be. I told him that the mattress had plastic over it, for tonight, just but the sheets on and get to bed. Even if he has everything, he will often be difficult with the issue of making his own bed (and yes, I have shown him how). A lot of this is laziness and insisting that it is my job, not his (another source of contention between us). I'm tired and I just don't feel like hearing it. Long story short, in the end we are yelling at each other and I'm telling him I'm sick and tired of his lazy behavior. Now, I know this is not the correct way to handle him, but I'd had it by that point.</p><p></p><p>To make matters worse, while I am making his bed, he has the nerve to tell me that when his friend comes over to stay the night next weekend, I'm not to embarrass him (i.e. correcting him). I told him not to give me a reason to correct him and I wouldn't. This AGAIN escalated the conversation and I ended up AGAIN taking something from him. </p><p></p><p>I absolutely see your point, but I can't agree with tolerating bad behavior because he is Autistic. I'm open to new ways of dealing with him, but I want him to understand that his behavior is not going to be accepted and that I am not his lap dog that will jump to do everything at his beck and call while he sits around fixated on video games.</p><p></p><p>Sorry if this sounds harsh. I love my son. but I'm tired of the constant attitude. I go out of my way for him and don't deserve the disrespect I'm constantly assaulted with...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LadyM, post: 336114"] I know what you're saying, but it's SO difficult. Earlier today I caught him playing his sisters game that she bought with her allowance money. She told him she didn't want him to play it. I didn't think this a major issue but I did remind him that he wasn't supposed to play it. At some point in the conversation, he blurted that if I told his sister, he'd embarrass me in a store. I didn't take kindly to being threatened and told him as much. To which he replied "it was a promise, not a threat". By this point I was torqued and said "you know, I hadn't planned on saying anything to her, but now I believe I will", which as expected, mad him angry. Fast forward to bedtime. I had asked him to bring down his sheets and school clothes earlier in the evening. He failed to bring down any of his mattress protectors and I didn't notice it. I gave him his sheets to make his bed and he started going off about no protector. I told him that I washed what he gave me and he started ranting about not having it. Now I'm not new to this game. This is the Autism kicking in as far as something having to be the way it's supposed to be. I told him that the mattress had plastic over it, for tonight, just but the sheets on and get to bed. Even if he has everything, he will often be difficult with the issue of making his own bed (and yes, I have shown him how). A lot of this is laziness and insisting that it is my job, not his (another source of contention between us). I'm tired and I just don't feel like hearing it. Long story short, in the end we are yelling at each other and I'm telling him I'm sick and tired of his lazy behavior. Now, I know this is not the correct way to handle him, but I'd had it by that point. To make matters worse, while I am making his bed, he has the nerve to tell me that when his friend comes over to stay the night next weekend, I'm not to embarrass him (i.e. correcting him). I told him not to give me a reason to correct him and I wouldn't. This AGAIN escalated the conversation and I ended up AGAIN taking something from him. I absolutely see your point, but I can't agree with tolerating bad behavior because he is Autistic. I'm open to new ways of dealing with him, but I want him to understand that his behavior is not going to be accepted and that I am not his lap dog that will jump to do everything at his beck and call while he sits around fixated on video games. Sorry if this sounds harsh. I love my son. but I'm tired of the constant attitude. I go out of my way for him and don't deserve the disrespect I'm constantly assaulted with... [/QUOTE]
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