Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Help with autistic teen behavior!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="LadyM" data-source="post: 336161"><p><span style="color: #2e2e2e"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">Thanks, that's some great advice and I do plan on buying the book (explosive child).</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #2e2e2e"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">It does make sense. I have to re-wire myself to understand that when he is saying those things, he is not always intending to be disrespectful.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #2e2e2e"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">It does seem to fit. When I accused him of threatening me with embarrassment, we went back and forth with him insisting that it wasn't a threat, it was a promise. At the time, I thought he was being a smart ass, now that I've had a chance to rethink it, he didn't know how to deal with the possibility that I might tell his sister so he pulled some memory of me or dad and copy/pasted it to this conversation without realizing that it was totally inappropriate.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">Additionally, he is probably under a lot of stress about embarrassing himself in front of his friends (due to the autism) and the thought of me yelling at him in front of them for his behavior probably compelled him to make that statement (of course when I heard it, it immediately rang the hes disrespecting me again bell).</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">It makes sense, although when he says something that does come across VERY disrespectful, I feel that while I can certainly stop and correct him on what he should have said, he needs to understand that what he did say was unacceptable and not to repeat it.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">For example, here is a VERY common argument between me and difficult child:</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">Me: difficult child its bed time</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">difficult child: No it isnt</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">Me: Yes it is, its past bed time</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">difficult child: (getting louder), no it isnt, youre lying to me, I dont see a clock anywhere!</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">Me: (now angry because he called me a liar), I am NOT lying! It is bed time, stop messing around and hit it!</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">difficult child: You dont tell me what to do!!</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">Me: The hell I dont, Im the mom here, youre in my house, do what I told you and GET TO BED!</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">Another common scenario after difficult child does something he shouldnt (say, knocks the laundry door off the track for the umpteenth time running through the house).</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">Me: difficult child, what is wrong with you? Are you trying to destroy our home?</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">difficult child: Dont Care</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">Me: Youd better damn site care!</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">difficult child: You dont cuss at me!</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">Me: I wasnt cussing AT you.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">difficult child: Mau-Mau said you cant cuss! (mother in law, big enabler, doesnt live with us thank god).</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">Me: Mau-Mau doesnt run my house. Im an adult and if I want to curse in my own home I damn site will, now why were you running through this house!</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">And it disintegrates from there </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">Sound familiar to anyone?</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LadyM, post: 336161"] [COLOR=#2e2e2e][FONT=Verdana]Thanks, that's some great advice and I do plan on buying the book (explosive child).[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#2e2e2e][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#2e2e2e][FONT=Verdana]It does make sense. I have to re-wire myself to understand that when he is saying those things, he is not always intending to be disrespectful.[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#2e2e2e][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#2e2e2e][FONT=Verdana]It does seem to fit. When I accused him of threatening me with embarrassment, we went back and forth with him insisting that it wasn't a threat, it was a promise. At the time, I thought he was being a smart ass, now that I've had a chance to rethink it, he didn't know how to deal with the possibility that I might tell his sister so he pulled some memory of me or dad and copy/pasted it to this conversation without realizing that it was totally inappropriate.[/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]Additionally, he is probably under a lot of stress about embarrassing himself in front of his friends (due to the autism) and the thought of me yelling at him in front of them for his behavior probably compelled him to make that statement (of course when I heard it, it immediately rang the hes disrespecting me again bell).[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]It makes sense, although when he says something that does come across VERY disrespectful, I feel that while I can certainly stop and correct him on what he should have said, he needs to understand that what he did say was unacceptable and not to repeat it.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]For example, here is a VERY common argument between me and difficult child:[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]Me: difficult child its bed time[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]difficult child: No it isnt[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]Me: Yes it is, its past bed time[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]difficult child: (getting louder), no it isnt, youre lying to me, I dont see a clock anywhere![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]Me: (now angry because he called me a liar), I am NOT lying! It is bed time, stop messing around and hit it![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]difficult child: You dont tell me what to do!![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]Me: The hell I dont, Im the mom here, youre in my house, do what I told you and GET TO BED![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]Another common scenario after difficult child does something he shouldnt (say, knocks the laundry door off the track for the umpteenth time running through the house).[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]Me: difficult child, what is wrong with you? Are you trying to destroy our home?[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]difficult child: Dont Care[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]Me: Youd better damn site care![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]difficult child: You dont cuss at me![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]Me: I wasnt cussing AT you.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]difficult child: Mau-Mau said you cant cuss! (mother in law, big enabler, doesnt live with us thank god).[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]Me: Mau-Mau doesnt run my house. Im an adult and if I want to curse in my own home I damn site will, now why were you running through this house![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]And it disintegrates from there [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]Sound familiar to anyone?[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Help with autistic teen behavior!
Top