Oh good gracious! I'm in a strange new land with difficult child havin moved back home. I believe she is sincerely trying to make it work but I need some help from you warriors with dealing with slobby, completely unfocused difficult child when it comes to household maintanence You see, I am Felix in the odd couple and she is .... well, Oscar looks like a neatnik in comparison. She hasn't lived her for any real period of time since high school I did keep her on task then = and during the two months she lived her post-college debacle - but this is different. How do you manage your at-home difficult child with, not only keeping things in reasonable order - but also with general dutites like mowing grass, etc? Here's what prompts me to ask. Yesterday, Mother's Day, started off just fine. She was very sweet (usually always is), gave me a heartwarming card and two tickets to see Jason Mraz!!!! This is a combo with my birthday, which is today. I was thrilled with the tickets - quite surprised (and wishing, a little, she hadn't spent so much). I loved the card most of all, but that's just being a mom. Anyway, I was out back sealing the deck when she got up. I finished the outdoor part and suggested we walk up for ice cream. We did and I knew I'd be paying (honeslty didn't mind). We come back and she's on the computer. Finanlly, I said "I need help cleaning off the side porch and getting the furniture out". She obliged (loves to play wiht the hose, lol). I then returned to the back, to seal the ecking on the screen porch (the other porch is off the driveway). Before I went out, I asked her to unload the dishwasher. I come in afer another hour of hard work. She's on the computer. There's nothing planned for dinner and, frankly, I don't want her to cook (lol). I order Chinese and send her out. She grumbles about going and gets quite a look from me, which silences her. She returns and suggests we eat and watch a movie. We do and I carry my plate up and rinse it. I say "i'm going to check my email and FB while you empty the dishwasher and clean up." She sets her plate, with the remnants of her dinner on the counter, says "I will" and sits in a chair, texting. I go to bed, deciding to see what she does. I wake up to ..... guess what??? Dirth plate still on the counter, dishwasher unemptied. I would have left it for her, but I had a customer coming by so I cleaned up. Happy Birthday to me. Do your difficult child have scheduled chores? Do you just ask on a per-need basis? I'm thinking of telling her (in my new warrior-calm fashion) that, clearly, expecting her to do what needs to be done has not worked and that she will now be responsible for emptying the dishwasher every day, and reloading it was well as cleaning, drying and puting away anything that does not go in the dishwasher. She will do this each day before work (she can set her alarm) and right after getting up on her days off. Aside from that, I think it's time for a chore schedule.