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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 143101" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Sounds like things are hard for all of you. I am so very sorry. </p><p> </p><p>YOU DO NOT DESERVE THE CRITICISM!!! There really is no time to blame yourself. You have done and are doing the best you can!!! That is ALL any of us can ever do. PLEASE be gentle with yourself and your husband. Parenting kids like ours is so very hard. It tears marriages and families apart. Be sure to protect your marriage, keep the communication open, and if really helps to get counselling for yourself and husband, both individually and as a couple.</p><p> </p><p>The abuse of your daughter by her bro is NOT YOUR FAULT. It just isn't. The blame belongs to whomever abused the children before you got them. Period. </p><p> </p><p>I also would not put many eggs on the SPECT scan. That basket just doesn't seem very steady from what I have seen/read about it.</p><p> </p><p>PLEASE google effexor side effects and withdrawal. Effexor can cause very scary and uncomfortable brain shivers. Like little shocks in your brain. It is a good medication for some. But it can cause some really strange things also. Even being late by a couple of HOURS can cause withdrawal. (Personal experience, mine and my son's). Make sure that she can talk to you about any side effects.</p><p> </p><p>Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) isn't going to go away. It can get better. But it is forever damaging. So is the abuse by her bro. </p><p> </p><p>Have you drug tested her? It is always a good idea to do this when behavior patterns change for the worse. I also think it can be a good idea with the lying.</p><p> </p><p>It really osunds like you are doing what can be done. Maybe an emotional growth boarding school would help? I know some members here have had a lot of luck with them. It is good to work with an educational consultant to find Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or EGBS placement. Having hte facility near where you live is usually not as important as having a program that will fit the child's needs. Some say that a program far enough away that the child can't run away to be with friends, or come home is a good thing.</p><p> </p><p>Keep posting, we are here for you. Be sure to take time for a splurge for YOU.</p><p> </p><p>Also, not all people are able to verbalize their feelings. even when hurt physically. There are cards and books that show various feelings, we found them to be very veryhelpful.</p><p> </p><p>Hugs,</p><p> </p><p>Susie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 143101, member: 1233"] Sounds like things are hard for all of you. I am so very sorry. YOU DO NOT DESERVE THE CRITICISM!!! There really is no time to blame yourself. You have done and are doing the best you can!!! That is ALL any of us can ever do. PLEASE be gentle with yourself and your husband. Parenting kids like ours is so very hard. It tears marriages and families apart. Be sure to protect your marriage, keep the communication open, and if really helps to get counselling for yourself and husband, both individually and as a couple. The abuse of your daughter by her bro is NOT YOUR FAULT. It just isn't. The blame belongs to whomever abused the children before you got them. Period. I also would not put many eggs on the SPECT scan. That basket just doesn't seem very steady from what I have seen/read about it. PLEASE google effexor side effects and withdrawal. Effexor can cause very scary and uncomfortable brain shivers. Like little shocks in your brain. It is a good medication for some. But it can cause some really strange things also. Even being late by a couple of HOURS can cause withdrawal. (Personal experience, mine and my son's). Make sure that she can talk to you about any side effects. Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) isn't going to go away. It can get better. But it is forever damaging. So is the abuse by her bro. Have you drug tested her? It is always a good idea to do this when behavior patterns change for the worse. I also think it can be a good idea with the lying. It really osunds like you are doing what can be done. Maybe an emotional growth boarding school would help? I know some members here have had a lot of luck with them. It is good to work with an educational consultant to find Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or EGBS placement. Having hte facility near where you live is usually not as important as having a program that will fit the child's needs. Some say that a program far enough away that the child can't run away to be with friends, or come home is a good thing. Keep posting, we are here for you. Be sure to take time for a splurge for YOU. Also, not all people are able to verbalize their feelings. even when hurt physically. There are cards and books that show various feelings, we found them to be very veryhelpful. Hugs, Susie [/QUOTE]
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