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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 143244" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I really didn't want you to feel I was criticising you, because you DO NOT deserve it. You have a lot on your plate.</p><p></p><p>Possibly what you may have meant is that you recognise that a part of you is detaching emotionally, in self-defence. This is natural, you are trying to keep yourself together so you can continue to cope.</p><p></p><p>It's good that you have had teacher training. I've had some, as well. But you do need to look beyond your training and think laterally. </p><p></p><p>Guilt is something you need to avoid. It serves no purpose and it slows down your reactions and effectiveness. Whatever has happened, has happened. You need your energies to now deal with the consequences.</p><p></p><p>The diagnosis - this is such a difficult one. Especially if a history is complex, partly unknown, confusing, multi-factorial - very hard to pin something down.</p><p></p><p>Tests can so often get it wrong or give confusing or conflicting results. It's often also a matter of educated guess, on top of it all. </p><p></p><p>Both my boys 'failed' their first IQ tests. With difficult child 1, it was partly the way the test was administered and a lot with how it was scored. He failed to complete the test due to anxiety, but it was scored as if he had failed due to inability. Later, more carefully administered tests showed an IQ around 130.</p><p>difficult child 3 - we were told he was "borderline" (the word 'retarded' was not easy child). But again, later testing (some years later, after he was verbal) showed a score of 140+.</p><p></p><p>Tests are only as good as the situation they were developed for. There are many tests which don't pick up all cases and only those cases. In fact, I know of very few conditions indeed, where this is the case (including pregnancy). </p><p></p><p>So keep an open mind re diagnosis - always be ready to question, especially if you feel something is not quite right.</p><p></p><p>This is where you need to listen to your heart, to your parental instincts. Trust yourself. Maybe that also is what I was sensing - you are so hard on yourself you're not trusting your own instincts, but instead falling back on tried and true, the theory.</p><p></p><p>(and this statement is coming from a scientific mind, so if you want to take it with a grain of salt, feel free!)</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 143244, member: 1991"] I really didn't want you to feel I was criticising you, because you DO NOT deserve it. You have a lot on your plate. Possibly what you may have meant is that you recognise that a part of you is detaching emotionally, in self-defence. This is natural, you are trying to keep yourself together so you can continue to cope. It's good that you have had teacher training. I've had some, as well. But you do need to look beyond your training and think laterally. Guilt is something you need to avoid. It serves no purpose and it slows down your reactions and effectiveness. Whatever has happened, has happened. You need your energies to now deal with the consequences. The diagnosis - this is such a difficult one. Especially if a history is complex, partly unknown, confusing, multi-factorial - very hard to pin something down. Tests can so often get it wrong or give confusing or conflicting results. It's often also a matter of educated guess, on top of it all. Both my boys 'failed' their first IQ tests. With difficult child 1, it was partly the way the test was administered and a lot with how it was scored. He failed to complete the test due to anxiety, but it was scored as if he had failed due to inability. Later, more carefully administered tests showed an IQ around 130. difficult child 3 - we were told he was "borderline" (the word 'retarded' was not easy child). But again, later testing (some years later, after he was verbal) showed a score of 140+. Tests are only as good as the situation they were developed for. There are many tests which don't pick up all cases and only those cases. In fact, I know of very few conditions indeed, where this is the case (including pregnancy). So keep an open mind re diagnosis - always be ready to question, especially if you feel something is not quite right. This is where you need to listen to your heart, to your parental instincts. Trust yourself. Maybe that also is what I was sensing - you are so hard on yourself you're not trusting your own instincts, but instead falling back on tried and true, the theory. (and this statement is coming from a scientific mind, so if you want to take it with a grain of salt, feel free!) Marg [/QUOTE]
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