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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 294181" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>A) you are not a bad mom because the clear cut consequence is carried out. She has a choice.</p><p></p><p>B) everytime she yells at you turn your back at her and walk away. Ignoring negative behavior and rewarding positive will help her learn better. I would tell her when you are calm that you don't like being talked to like this and that mom doesn't talk to difficult child like that. If she screams you will not hear what she is saying and will walk away until difficult child can speak calmly. This has to be done in a quiet time when things are not ratcheted up emotionally. She will hear you better and understand when you turn your back and walk away. If she uses her words she gets lots of praise and maybe a treat or reward(in the beginning). </p><p></p><p>C) tell husband if he makes a consequence, he better darn well be able to follow through. Threats without follow through teaches difficult child's that it's empty words and will teach nothing but how difficult child can manipulate the parenting system in your house. Make reasonable consequences. Use a list that you and husband agree on. If you threaten to throw away toys she doesn't pick up you best be prepared. We actually had a box in our closet where unpicked up toys went and could not be used until son's earned them back. </p><p></p><p>It's tough to deal with a difficult child when emotions are high. I found if I had a plan and used it then I wasn't nearly as emotional. It is a well thought out parenting plan that can't be figured out when you are in the heat of the moment.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 294181, member: 3"] A) you are not a bad mom because the clear cut consequence is carried out. She has a choice. B) everytime she yells at you turn your back at her and walk away. Ignoring negative behavior and rewarding positive will help her learn better. I would tell her when you are calm that you don't like being talked to like this and that mom doesn't talk to difficult child like that. If she screams you will not hear what she is saying and will walk away until difficult child can speak calmly. This has to be done in a quiet time when things are not ratcheted up emotionally. She will hear you better and understand when you turn your back and walk away. If she uses her words she gets lots of praise and maybe a treat or reward(in the beginning). C) tell husband if he makes a consequence, he better darn well be able to follow through. Threats without follow through teaches difficult child's that it's empty words and will teach nothing but how difficult child can manipulate the parenting system in your house. Make reasonable consequences. Use a list that you and husband agree on. If you threaten to throw away toys she doesn't pick up you best be prepared. We actually had a box in our closet where unpicked up toys went and could not be used until son's earned them back. It's tough to deal with a difficult child when emotions are high. I found if I had a plan and used it then I wasn't nearly as emotional. It is a well thought out parenting plan that can't be figured out when you are in the heat of the moment. [/QUOTE]
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