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<blockquote data-quote="tiredmommy" data-source="post: 294206" data-attributes="member: 1722"><p>Miche... I've cancelled a birthday party. It's not easy but was necessary in our case because Duckie would not have been able to get through it without a rage or meltdown. It was a consequence, not a punishment.</p><p> </p><p>Have you tried The Explosive Child by Dr Ross Greene? That helped me get my priorities in line so that I could help Duckie behave better; there's a thread at the top of the Early Child Zone that discusses the book and technique. Personally, I would cut out all activities, events and expectations for the next few weeks and work on getting through to difficult child. I know it isn't easy, but it will be easier to do now before school starts in a few weeks.</p><p> </p><p>Another thing I did that really got her attention was to "full-riley" her room and make her earn back her stuff by being respectful and considerate. I left her bed, dresser and her favorite bed-time lovey only in her room. It was quite an undertaking moving it all to the garage, but it really got her attention and let her know "which side her bread is buttered on".</p><p> </p><p>The third thing I'd suggest is that husband and difficult child have a little talk. It did wonders for mine & Duckie's relationship when he told her flat out that he wouldn't tolerate the way she treated his wife any longer... that he would dole out consequences and punishments. Many times, children don't see parents as a cohesive unit and will undermine the one they view less favorable. It's up to the other parent to stand up to the child and correct their thinking. Just my .02.</p><p> </p><p>Good luck! Remember you aren't alone in this and you aren't a bad mommy. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tiredmommy, post: 294206, member: 1722"] Miche... I've cancelled a birthday party. It's not easy but was necessary in our case because Duckie would not have been able to get through it without a rage or meltdown. It was a consequence, not a punishment. Have you tried The Explosive Child by Dr Ross Greene? That helped me get my priorities in line so that I could help Duckie behave better; there's a thread at the top of the Early Child Zone that discusses the book and technique. Personally, I would cut out all activities, events and expectations for the next few weeks and work on getting through to difficult child. I know it isn't easy, but it will be easier to do now before school starts in a few weeks. Another thing I did that really got her attention was to "full-riley" her room and make her earn back her stuff by being respectful and considerate. I left her bed, dresser and her favorite bed-time lovey only in her room. It was quite an undertaking moving it all to the garage, but it really got her attention and let her know "which side her bread is buttered on". The third thing I'd suggest is that husband and difficult child have a little talk. It did wonders for mine & Duckie's relationship when he told her flat out that he wouldn't tolerate the way she treated his wife any longer... that he would dole out consequences and punishments. Many times, children don't see parents as a cohesive unit and will undermine the one they view less favorable. It's up to the other parent to stand up to the child and correct their thinking. Just my .02. Good luck! Remember you aren't alone in this and you aren't a bad mommy. :) [/QUOTE]
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