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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 617885" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Good for you! Expect him to rebel, maybe verbally abuse you, threaten to hurt himself, etc. In other words, try to anticipate the drama and, if you can help it, don't fuel the flames, so to speak. He's used to having his way and you pay all his bills and he will act indignant when you try to insist he grow up a bit.</p><p>If he steals from the store he works at, he'll be in trouble too. My son had a friend who worked in one of the old Service Merchandise stores and he stole little things until he got bolder and took something big and they pressed charges against him. Yes, he used drugs. What type, I don't know.</p><p>Hugs and wish you good luck, but don't want you to expect miracles at first. It is unlikely he will say, "OK, mom, I see the light." They usually need to have it hit them between the eyes, which is why tough love often is far more effective over just status quo and pretending nothing is wrong until it is too late for that and they are in serious danger. Drug users often sell and they are not nice people. My daughter's life got threatened in her drug days, something she didn't tell us about until after she quit. In our case, we made her pay all of her own bills and gave her zero money and finally asked her to leave when we came home early from a trip and surprised her. She was having a drug party in the house and that was the final straw.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 617885, member: 1550"] Good for you! Expect him to rebel, maybe verbally abuse you, threaten to hurt himself, etc. In other words, try to anticipate the drama and, if you can help it, don't fuel the flames, so to speak. He's used to having his way and you pay all his bills and he will act indignant when you try to insist he grow up a bit. If he steals from the store he works at, he'll be in trouble too. My son had a friend who worked in one of the old Service Merchandise stores and he stole little things until he got bolder and took something big and they pressed charges against him. Yes, he used drugs. What type, I don't know. Hugs and wish you good luck, but don't want you to expect miracles at first. It is unlikely he will say, "OK, mom, I see the light." They usually need to have it hit them between the eyes, which is why tough love often is far more effective over just status quo and pretending nothing is wrong until it is too late for that and they are in serious danger. Drug users often sell and they are not nice people. My daughter's life got threatened in her drug days, something she didn't tell us about until after she quit. In our case, we made her pay all of her own bills and gave her zero money and finally asked her to leave when we came home early from a trip and surprised her. She was having a drug party in the house and that was the final straw. [/QUOTE]
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