Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Help
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 617912" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>First, I am so sorry you are on this journey. I hope it is short for you. </p><p></p><p>I remember at my beginning when I was so hurt. My feelings were so raw and I couldn't believe he would do lie, smoke pot, steal, take drugs, etc., etc, (it got worse and worse as the years went on in my son's situation). We had not taught him anything like that. He knew all of that was wrong. Etc. Etc. </p><p></p><p>It took me years before I realized what he was doing had nothing to do with any of that. </p><p></p><p>Now my son is 24 and the problems are very, very serious. It started slowly and then he went off a steep cliff, very quickly, it seemed to me. In actuality the really bad stuff has been over the past four years, but looking back, I am sure it started in high school and I am also sure that is a lot I still don't know and never will.</p><p></p><p>One day his girlfriend called and asked me if she could come over and talk to me. Of course I said sure. She was worried sick. For the next 1.5 hours she talked and I listened. My mouth was hanging open. I was flabbergasted. I could believe what I was hearing. He had been living right here under my roof and I had no idea of the things she was telling me. </p><p></p><p>It just shows how much we can't know. </p><p></p><p>The sooner you can start setting strong limits, sticking to them and working on yourself, the better off you are going to be. </p><p></p><p>I believe strongly that pot was a gateway drug for my son's opiate use. Some people may be able to smoke pot recreationally and walk away. I don't know. Others cannot and the problems just snowball. My son is one of those. </p><p></p><p>It's so hard to imagine telling your son he must leave if he doesn't follow the rules. It took me about 1.5 years to get there. My ex-husband just got there this past June. But today, he can't live with either one of us and he has been homeless. </p><p></p><p>It's the hardest thing I have ever done, but please believe us all when we say that NOTHING we did worked. And believe me I did everything. Rules, consequences, contracts, taking away (you name it) car, privileges, gas money, everything in his room (one thing at a time). We even took the door off the hinges. He had no privacy at all. We talked, cried, begged, pleaded, yelled, negotiated, reasoned, went to counselors, therapists, doctors, everything. He would not cooperate and he would not stop. </p><p></p><p>Drug addicts are liars. It is often said: if their mouth is moving they are lying. I believe that today.</p><p></p><p>They will steal from you. They will lie to you. They will promise the moon and deliver nothing. They will manipulate you. </p><p></p><p>It's just a stall game so they can get what they want as long as they can. And what they want is drugs.</p><p></p><p>I hope your case is different but some of the things you have written sound painfully familiar. Please keep coming back and please know there is compassion, help and prayers for you and him right here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 617912, member: 17542"] First, I am so sorry you are on this journey. I hope it is short for you. I remember at my beginning when I was so hurt. My feelings were so raw and I couldn't believe he would do lie, smoke pot, steal, take drugs, etc., etc, (it got worse and worse as the years went on in my son's situation). We had not taught him anything like that. He knew all of that was wrong. Etc. Etc. It took me years before I realized what he was doing had nothing to do with any of that. Now my son is 24 and the problems are very, very serious. It started slowly and then he went off a steep cliff, very quickly, it seemed to me. In actuality the really bad stuff has been over the past four years, but looking back, I am sure it started in high school and I am also sure that is a lot I still don't know and never will. One day his girlfriend called and asked me if she could come over and talk to me. Of course I said sure. She was worried sick. For the next 1.5 hours she talked and I listened. My mouth was hanging open. I was flabbergasted. I could believe what I was hearing. He had been living right here under my roof and I had no idea of the things she was telling me. It just shows how much we can't know. The sooner you can start setting strong limits, sticking to them and working on yourself, the better off you are going to be. I believe strongly that pot was a gateway drug for my son's opiate use. Some people may be able to smoke pot recreationally and walk away. I don't know. Others cannot and the problems just snowball. My son is one of those. It's so hard to imagine telling your son he must leave if he doesn't follow the rules. It took me about 1.5 years to get there. My ex-husband just got there this past June. But today, he can't live with either one of us and he has been homeless. It's the hardest thing I have ever done, but please believe us all when we say that NOTHING we did worked. And believe me I did everything. Rules, consequences, contracts, taking away (you name it) car, privileges, gas money, everything in his room (one thing at a time). We even took the door off the hinges. He had no privacy at all. We talked, cried, begged, pleaded, yelled, negotiated, reasoned, went to counselors, therapists, doctors, everything. He would not cooperate and he would not stop. Drug addicts are liars. It is often said: if their mouth is moving they are lying. I believe that today. They will steal from you. They will lie to you. They will promise the moon and deliver nothing. They will manipulate you. It's just a stall game so they can get what they want as long as they can. And what they want is drugs. I hope your case is different but some of the things you have written sound painfully familiar. Please keep coming back and please know there is compassion, help and prayers for you and him right here. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Help
Top