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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 617915" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Not that I"m so tough, because I'm actually a softie when times are good, but I will do all I can to try to dissuade my kids from self-destructing, even if it means they hate me for doing it. I called the cops on my daughter for pot at age fifteen. Little did I know (and you don't either) if it is just pot or more. With her it was a lot more and it morphed the longer she was involved with drugs.</p><p></p><p>I also used to routinely throw out the cigarettes in her purse. I know a lot of parents think it's not a big deal, but I wasn't about to have cigarettes in my house...no smoking was a house rule plus she was underage. I would go into her purse all the time, as once she broke the law she had lost the privilege of her privacy, and throw out any cigarettes that were there. She eventually quit drugs AND cigarettes too. Now she hates smoke and her house is tobacco free. I would like to say that kids who smoke cigarettes are more likely to smoke pot and move on. I am surprised at how many parents, some nonsmoking, allow their kids to pollute their homes out of fear of making them angry. Lots of smoker's coughs, short-winded young people, lung cancer and other issues from cigarettes.</p><p></p><p>I never felt guilty about going through her things once she was busted for pot. I felt she had to earn our trust back to be regain her privacy. Anything related to any sort of drug or alcohol was thrown out. Yes, we used to search her room too. </p><p></p><p>My daughter is now one of my best friends as well as being my daughter. She had to hate me first. I was not high on her "like" list when she was doing drugs and I was "being mean." But now she will say I did the right thing and she would think about what I told her, although I never thought she was listening.</p><p>I agree that you can't allow your son to blatantly reject your house rules plus break the law in your house or he will never respect you and he will have no reason to change his ways.</p><p>Good luck. It's hard, I know. I never did anything without secretly shaking inside and being near tears. I just tried to hide them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 617915, member: 1550"] Not that I"m so tough, because I'm actually a softie when times are good, but I will do all I can to try to dissuade my kids from self-destructing, even if it means they hate me for doing it. I called the cops on my daughter for pot at age fifteen. Little did I know (and you don't either) if it is just pot or more. With her it was a lot more and it morphed the longer she was involved with drugs. I also used to routinely throw out the cigarettes in her purse. I know a lot of parents think it's not a big deal, but I wasn't about to have cigarettes in my house...no smoking was a house rule plus she was underage. I would go into her purse all the time, as once she broke the law she had lost the privilege of her privacy, and throw out any cigarettes that were there. She eventually quit drugs AND cigarettes too. Now she hates smoke and her house is tobacco free. I would like to say that kids who smoke cigarettes are more likely to smoke pot and move on. I am surprised at how many parents, some nonsmoking, allow their kids to pollute their homes out of fear of making them angry. Lots of smoker's coughs, short-winded young people, lung cancer and other issues from cigarettes. I never felt guilty about going through her things once she was busted for pot. I felt she had to earn our trust back to be regain her privacy. Anything related to any sort of drug or alcohol was thrown out. Yes, we used to search her room too. My daughter is now one of my best friends as well as being my daughter. She had to hate me first. I was not high on her "like" list when she was doing drugs and I was "being mean." But now she will say I did the right thing and she would think about what I told her, although I never thought she was listening. I agree that you can't allow your son to blatantly reject your house rules plus break the law in your house or he will never respect you and he will have no reason to change his ways. Good luck. It's hard, I know. I never did anything without secretly shaking inside and being near tears. I just tried to hide them. [/QUOTE]
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