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General Parenting
Helping an unsettled difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 172917"><p>I think you handled it well. I try to do what Sue mentioned, but difficult child is often not in the frame of mind to really discuss these things in a rational manner when she starts this. She mostly wants to complain and be critical and spew verbal garbage.</p><p></p><p>However, often after I put my foot down and tell her I'm not talking to her when she's being like that, she'll return a few minutes later and then we actually talk.</p><p></p><p>I don't know that I get anywhere, but I figure with enough repetition things will start to sink in. Some things have already. Some things are starting to. Some things need more work. </p><p></p><p>The complaining and verbal garbage is her outlet. She needs to get it out. However, she needs to find a better outlet - such as a journal, great idea, by the way - than dumping on me and expecting me to 'fix' it. </p><p></p><p>And often, too, after the first part is over and we get to the second part (which we don't always do - like tonight for example), she seems somewhat better...just as it helps with us to be heard, validated and knowing we aren't alone. They're not any different in that regard.</p><p></p><p>I don't know if this helps you any. Just my experience and I commiserate with you and with your difficult child. It's not fun for them either. And trying to figure out how to handle each situation with an emotionally volatile or sensitive kid is never easy. What works one time won't necessarily work the next.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 172917"] I think you handled it well. I try to do what Sue mentioned, but difficult child is often not in the frame of mind to really discuss these things in a rational manner when she starts this. She mostly wants to complain and be critical and spew verbal garbage. However, often after I put my foot down and tell her I'm not talking to her when she's being like that, she'll return a few minutes later and then we actually talk. I don't know that I get anywhere, but I figure with enough repetition things will start to sink in. Some things have already. Some things are starting to. Some things need more work. The complaining and verbal garbage is her outlet. She needs to get it out. However, she needs to find a better outlet - such as a journal, great idea, by the way - than dumping on me and expecting me to 'fix' it. And often, too, after the first part is over and we get to the second part (which we don't always do - like tonight for example), she seems somewhat better...just as it helps with us to be heard, validated and knowing we aren't alone. They're not any different in that regard. I don't know if this helps you any. Just my experience and I commiserate with you and with your difficult child. It's not fun for them either. And trying to figure out how to handle each situation with an emotionally volatile or sensitive kid is never easy. What works one time won't necessarily work the next. [/QUOTE]
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