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General Parenting
Helping vs Enabling - Now what?
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<blockquote data-quote="stressbunny" data-source="post: 612668"><p>He's done it again. Every week there is some new drama. This time JT texted me after 3 pm at work that he is completely out of money and would I wire transfer him $25 for gas to drive to his grandparents' to stay overnight before his early morning job interview. </p><p></p><p>He was fired from his other job last month, and he was also kicked out of his friends' mom's house. He moved in with a few guy friends in another town an hour away and hooked up with a girl he used to know. He became immediately serious about her and wanted to marry her. Oh brother!</p><p></p><p>But today she broke it off from him because she felt like things wete moving too fast - you think?</p><p></p><p>So I stupidly, perhaps, wired him the money because I wanted him to get this job. </p><p></p><p>Now he says that because his girlfriend dumped him he needs to live somewhere else. I asked him why since he is supposedly living with his guy friends. He said his girlfriend moved in last weekend. I wonder if he lied to us and has been living with her for the past few weeks.</p><p></p><p>Oh , and he is so positive he is going to get this job and make over $30 grand, that he wants to buy a new expensive truck to the tune of $500 per month.</p><p></p><p>He is out of touch with reality.</p><p></p><p>At any rate, he is unemployed, homeless, and penniless now. I'm sure his plan is to live with his grandparents for some period of time because they live in the town where the job is. But we don't want that. His grandparents are in their 80s.</p><p></p><p>This is ridiculous. He just won't get a real job and keep it. He tries to solve his problems by making them ours.</p><p></p><p>If we don't help him at least for a while, he has no money, food, or shelter. I don't want to enable, but now what should we do?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="stressbunny, post: 612668"] He's done it again. Every week there is some new drama. This time JT texted me after 3 pm at work that he is completely out of money and would I wire transfer him $25 for gas to drive to his grandparents' to stay overnight before his early morning job interview. He was fired from his other job last month, and he was also kicked out of his friends' mom's house. He moved in with a few guy friends in another town an hour away and hooked up with a girl he used to know. He became immediately serious about her and wanted to marry her. Oh brother! But today she broke it off from him because she felt like things wete moving too fast - you think? So I stupidly, perhaps, wired him the money because I wanted him to get this job. Now he says that because his girlfriend dumped him he needs to live somewhere else. I asked him why since he is supposedly living with his guy friends. He said his girlfriend moved in last weekend. I wonder if he lied to us and has been living with her for the past few weeks. Oh , and he is so positive he is going to get this job and make over $30 grand, that he wants to buy a new expensive truck to the tune of $500 per month. He is out of touch with reality. At any rate, he is unemployed, homeless, and penniless now. I'm sure his plan is to live with his grandparents for some period of time because they live in the town where the job is. But we don't want that. His grandparents are in their 80s. This is ridiculous. He just won't get a real job and keep it. He tries to solve his problems by making them ours. If we don't help him at least for a while, he has no money, food, or shelter. I don't want to enable, but now what should we do? [/QUOTE]
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