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General Parenting
Helping vs Enabling - Now what?
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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 612678" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>I agree with MWM. If you find it impossible to turn away from him at this time, is it because you are not sure of what is causing him to behave this way? If that is the case, you could check into the cost of renting for one month at one of those lifestyle hotels. Or, you could try YMCA. </p><p></p><p>I never could just turn away, either. There is nothing wrong with temporarily helping the kids until we are sure of what the problem is. Once we know for sure what we are dealing with, we can address the problem. Look at this as a time to get to the bottom of what is going on ~ and then, do that. Your son's old friends will know whether your son is using drugs. In the meantime, don't get yourself into anything long-term. If you do decide to rent a room for him for a week or a month, be very sure that he isn't going to damage the room and leave you to pay for that. </p><p></p><p>Don't co-sign on a lease or a car.</p><p></p><p>I always envisioned leaving a white candle in the window, to help my son come home. I don't know how much that helped him, but it enabled me to survive the horror.</p><p></p><p>I'm so sorry this is happening to you, and to your family.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>That was something we never even thought about until, having decided we couldn't live with ourselves and just leave her on the streets, we learned our daughter had been blacklisted by some of the creepiest dives in the city where she was living due to drug use and violent, nasty friends living with her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 612678, member: 1721"] I agree with MWM. If you find it impossible to turn away from him at this time, is it because you are not sure of what is causing him to behave this way? If that is the case, you could check into the cost of renting for one month at one of those lifestyle hotels. Or, you could try YMCA. I never could just turn away, either. There is nothing wrong with temporarily helping the kids until we are sure of what the problem is. Once we know for sure what we are dealing with, we can address the problem. Look at this as a time to get to the bottom of what is going on ~ and then, do that. Your son's old friends will know whether your son is using drugs. In the meantime, don't get yourself into anything long-term. If you do decide to rent a room for him for a week or a month, be very sure that he isn't going to damage the room and leave you to pay for that. Don't co-sign on a lease or a car. I always envisioned leaving a white candle in the window, to help my son come home. I don't know how much that helped him, but it enabled me to survive the horror. I'm so sorry this is happening to you, and to your family. Cedar That was something we never even thought about until, having decided we couldn't live with ourselves and just leave her on the streets, we learned our daughter had been blacklisted by some of the creepiest dives in the city where she was living due to drug use and violent, nasty friends living with her. [/QUOTE]
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