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General Parenting
Helping vs Enabling - Now what?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 612688" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>SB, have you contacted any local shelters? In some towns there are those cheap hotels you can rent for a month. </p><p></p><p>It might be prudent for you to get yourself some professional assistance, therapy, NAMI, 12 step groups, to help you figure out how you want to address this without enabling him. Detachment is difficult on us. </p><p></p><p>Being out of touch with reality and making poor choices seems to be part of the difficult child handbook. The issue is that you don't want to be in the unhealthy position of paying for his bad choices for the rest of your lives. </p><p></p><p>If you don't feel staying with his grandparents is a good idea, for their well being, then do not allow him to do that, folks in their 80's shouldn't be exposed to this kind of behavior, it's not fair to them. </p><p></p><p>*You might try giving him a deadline for any help from you, a time period which feels right to you, a month? 90 days? And when that time period is up, then he has to figure this out on his own. As long as you help him, he is less likely to figure it out on his own. It's a fine line to walk. That's why I always recommend getting professional help, most of us can't navigate this alone. I'm sorry this is happening.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 612688, member: 13542"] SB, have you contacted any local shelters? In some towns there are those cheap hotels you can rent for a month. It might be prudent for you to get yourself some professional assistance, therapy, NAMI, 12 step groups, to help you figure out how you want to address this without enabling him. Detachment is difficult on us. Being out of touch with reality and making poor choices seems to be part of the difficult child handbook. The issue is that you don't want to be in the unhealthy position of paying for his bad choices for the rest of your lives. If you don't feel staying with his grandparents is a good idea, for their well being, then do not allow him to do that, folks in their 80's shouldn't be exposed to this kind of behavior, it's not fair to them. *You might try giving him a deadline for any help from you, a time period which feels right to you, a month? 90 days? And when that time period is up, then he has to figure this out on his own. As long as you help him, he is less likely to figure it out on his own. It's a fine line to walk. That's why I always recommend getting professional help, most of us can't navigate this alone. I'm sorry this is happening. [/QUOTE]
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Helping vs Enabling - Now what?
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