here again

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by 2128, Apr 24, 2008.

  1. 2128

    2128 New Member

    hi,

    haven't posted in a while. last time i did, my 10 yo was giving me a fit with his anger. things have been better since then as far as anger goes, but now there is a new twist.

    he's done well in school all year up until the last month or so. grades started dropping, conduct got worse (threatened with suspension once), destroying things that didn't belong to him. and while i'm talking to him about these things, he drops another bomb--"i don't care about anyone but me". at first, i thought he was just saying this so i would leave him alone. but after a homemade test that i tried, i believe my suspicions are confirmed that he doesn't care. i was upset about it for a while and have gotten over it. he says that he hates being around any of the rest of the family. you may say it's wrong, but i told him that if it were that bad, he was welcome to pack his things and find another place to live. i've put up with about all i can.

    so can someone give me an opinion or some advice? he knows that he is loved and taken care of. is this just age talking or is there something deeper that i'm not seeing?

    thanks
     
  2. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi! Here come the questions!

    Does he have a diagnosis?

    Is he taking medications?

    Therapy?

    Therapist or Psychiatrist on board?

    What's the family dynamic (mom, dad, sibs, steps, etc.)?

    Any mental illness in the family?

    IEP at school?

    It hekps if you fill out a signature, this way, you don't get the same questions!

    Welcome back!

    Beth
     
  3. 2128

    2128 New Member

    i think i did a signature at one time, but i'm worn out and didn't hit the right buttons!!!

    no diagnosis, medications, or mental illness.

    we did some therapy back in december. therapist said that what she saw was more of a control issue (who could he control with this behavior). we've since stopped that because she saw it more of who needs to be in control of the household and because it was draining my pockets.

    me and op live apart. sometimes he's there, sometimes with me. has a younger brother whom he likes to boss around and try to get in trouble.

    and sorry, i'm not smart enough to know what IEP means. can you help me out with that one?!?!?
     
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I suggest a neuropsychologist evaluation. Sounds like something is going on.
     
  5. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi! IEP stands for Individual Education Plan. It helps spell out goals objectives and services that he may need.

    I think that Midwest Mom is right. Go get a neuropsychologist done on him. Basically it's a neuropsychologist (you can often have the testing done in a Childrens or Teaching Hospital) that tests him for EVERYTHING!

    Something doesn't sound right here...

    Beth
     
  6. 2128

    2128 New Member

    thanks for the responses.

    the last couple of days have been pretty quiet. we had it out once for him yelling at me which i simply won't tolerate.

    he's staying with his OP tonight. i've been thinking about the last several days and have noticed that when he's around me, he's better behaved than when he is around his OP. i was at OP's house earlier and while i was there, he was pretty good, and after i left, trouble must have started. i no more than pulled into my driveway and the phone was ringing. OP stated that he was not behaving, not listening, doing what he wanted to do.

    does anyone think that this is a matter of "i can be the one in control"? i am thinking about telling him tomorrow that if he can't behave when around OP, then he can no longer be there. i don't really want to do that, but i can't have him behaving in this type of manner.
     
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